


Dreamer

by Fandella Thomas (MaggieDeath)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:00:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3836230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieDeath/pseuds/Fandella%20Thomas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do people generally remember their dreams? If they did would they think that they were real or just the imaginings of the sleeping mind? One girl didn't want to think that her dreams were dreams. They were just so much better than her real life.</p><p>For years an invisible little sprite floated around Loki's days, bringing light where there was dark. Bringng caring would there would have been mischief. Why did he want her to be real so badly?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue

 

    Do people generally remember their dreams? Are they black and white or vivid color? I can only answer for myself. I do remember. Vivid gilded columns and marble floors. Deep reds, purples, and greens always assaulted my senses each night. Lush and vast forests, busy and crowded marketplaces, wild and hectic school yards. These dreams were a blessing, taking me away from my real life which was very different from my dreams. I started remembering my dreams when I was about 13 years old, when things were really bad. My mother died and my father had disappeared leaving me in the care of my Aunt Sophia. Aunt Sophia was a shrewd woman who believed in all things being right, all things being in order, and no child talking out of turn. Children were truly meant to be seen and not heard.

    I lived in the basement, wore hand me downs from the 60’s, from when Aunt Sophia was young and just as stiff as she was when I had moved in with her. Honestly I think she would have been better off if she had partook in Woodstock, she might have gotten some and learned to relax. But that was not for her stodgy self, the stick was firmly planted in her rear. Every night I was locked in the basement, so I wouldn’t try to escape, and was not let out until morning for school. I went to school in ill-fitting clothes from a long gone era, would endure the taunts and bullying, just to get back to Aunt Sophia’s to start my servitude.

    Aunt Sophia did not have a normal job, instead she restored old houses to their former glory, which I do have to admit was pretty interesting. But once home, and I use the word loosely, I was expected to help the construction crew with the cleaning of the rooms they were working in. I found solace with the workers, they were just normal guys, and they all viewed me as a gawky little sister. I was definitely that, gawky and awkward. Slightly wavy red hair, dark brown eyes, short, and kind of skinny I didn’t seem to fit in my skin. The workers were protective and some of them seemed to stave off leaving until dinner was served, but they couldn’t stay past that moment, Aunt Sophia wouldn’t stand for it. So dinner would take place and I would clean the kitchen and then get locked back down in the basement. Thankfully there was a bathroom, even though the water heater didn’t quite work right downstairs. Then I would repeat this day after day. There was no change in my life, it was always the same. It never seemed like it was going to end.

    After about a month of the same routine is when I had my first dream. I fell asleep, as always, in the dismal basement to the rhythm of a leaky pipe in the corner. It was a slow lull, my lids slowly closing, and then darkness. When my eyes opened again I was standing in a marketplace. The colors were earthy and the scent of cooking food filled the air. People were everywhere, placing orders and going into shops that lined the market. Callers were selling their wares, apples and oranges, dates and figs. Animals sat in stalls waiting for purchase. The ground was gently toiled to keep the dust down as people milled around the carts and shops.

    Suddenly, a child came running at me, she didn’t seem to see me. I tried to move out of the way, and something incredible happened, she ran right through me. I was there, but not there. It was a truly amazing feeling. All my life all I wanted was to not be seen and left alone, now I had my chance. I couldn’t help but think of the prospects of this development, but I had to test it to ensure that it wasn’t just a fluke or just my imagination. An elderly woman sat in front of a shop on a stool, so I walked right up to her and then through her. I’ll admit, I acted as the 13 year old that I was, I whooped a little and giggled to myself.

    After that, all of my dreams were the same. I could go everywhere and no one could stop me. The marketplace was a fascination for a few months, but one day I came across a trail that was off the main road. I had never noticed it before, so being the typical child that was up to no good I took it. It led up and up and up. The trail was flanked by large flowered bushes and other flora that I recognized. Roses, pansies, and giant sun flowers were everywhere along the tiny stoned path. Not being able to stop myself I leaned over to smell a particularly large rose bush. It smelled as sweet as the roses in Aunt Sophia’s garden that were right outside the basement sub door. That was when I heard voices coming from the above me. Someone was coming down the trail. Most people would have panicked, but since I was able to walk through everyone I wasn’t too worried.

    There were two separate voices coming my way. One seemed bold and arrogant, but with a hint of joyfulness to it. It was deep with a rich accent, something close to a British accent, but not quite. The other voice possessed the same accent but a completely different timber. There was a hint of arrogance, but a playfulness and seriousness that the other voice lacked. The tone the second voice was taking was that of an adult trying to console a spoiled child, indulgent and filled with love. But it seemed as if they were mocking each other in a familiar way. The voices were getting closer, and I knew that at any moment I would see them turn the bend.

    They were huge in comparison to my small frame. One was blonde and very broad, the other had black hair with a more lean frame, but both were extremely tall. The blonde one had a broad smile on his lips; this accompanied a very open and honest face. I knew he must have the first voice that I had heard. The dark haired man had a very small smirk curving one side of his lips as he playfully told the blonde to not be so ridiculous. They kept walking towards me, completely unaware that I was there, but I still felt the need to get as close to the bushes as possible. As luck would have it I was closest to the black haired man and when he walked past me his arm went through my shoulder.

    The dark haired man stopped a few feet away from me and turned around in my direction. The blonde man spoke first, “What is it Loki?” But this Loki didn’t say anything he just kept searching in my direction. One of his hands came up to rest against his chin and the other went to rest on his hip. He kept searching and a slightly larger smirk was forming slowing on his lips. Now if I wasn’t sure that he could not see me I could have sworn that he looked straight into my eyes at that same moment. But he couldn’t have, could he? No one else could see me, what would make him so special? He took a step forward and I took a step to the side, his eyes followed me. He could see me. The blonde put his hand on Loki’s arm and looked at him questioningly. Loki looked at him and said, “Thor, if I did not know any better I would think that we are not alone on this path.”


	2. The Experiment

 

    The moment that the sentence escaped Loki’s lips I came awake with a start, it was only midnight. My dreams had definitely taken a strange turn, why would after all this time my mind decide to put a person into them that could see me? I wasn’t lonely; I had my books to keep me company. When I dreamt I had a freedom that I have never experienced before. Why would my mind want to screw that up? Or at least that was what I was thinking at the time. I laid there listening to the drip drip of the leaky pipe for quite some time, so much time that I didn’t notice myself falling asleep again. I didn’t notice my eyelids closing until it was too late; when I opened them again I was back on the garden path.

    Seeing that I was alone I allowed myself to relax a little. But those questions that I was asking myself kept coming into my mind. Could Loki see me and if he could why could he? I didn’t know what scenario my mind was going to give me and I had no idea where Loki and Thor could be. So do I wait here on the path, or continue up like I was going to in the first place? Deciding that regardless if Loki could see me or not I didn’t want to miss out on seeing anything new, so I started following the path again.

    After a few yards the gardens opened up into a massive courtyard. No, not courtyard, that makes it seem too common. It was majestic to say the least. Huge trees were spaced throughout to add shade from the sun. The lawn was perfectly manicured, just like my Aunt Sophia would have loved it. Topiaries of exotic birds and animals were also spread out through the courtyard, which was about the size of a football field. The strangest topiary was beautiful and hideous at the same time, a large lizard type creature with feathers coming off of its tail and large horns curving out of its head. I couldn’t help but go over and inspect it. The detail was amazing, it seemed to breathe in the gentle wind that was blowing, the muscles seemed to twitch when I tried to touch it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to feel it, I would pass through it, just like the people.

    Still I had to know, since my mind decided to change the game on me. Slowly I reached out and when my hand should have passed through the topiary, I felt the delicate leaves. Of course my mind would do this to me. I was happy just observing the happenings of this tiny place that was mine and mine alone. So what do I do? Like a typical 13 year old I sit down and pout. I liked the way things were going, why did they have to change; I didn’t want them to change. So I sat there for a few minutes feeling sorry for myself, at least as sorry for myself as I was able to feel. I still loved it here, but now I could feel the grass between my toes, so I gave them a little wiggle. I laughed at the gesture; it was ridiculous that I was even thinking that this was a bad thing. What else could I feel and touch, and possibly taste? There were fruit trees all over the place, some I had no idea what types of fruit it bore. There was experience waiting round the corners with this new development.

    So I stood up and dusted myself off, well not dusted, just made sure I didn’t have any grass hanging off of me. That was when I heard the sound of metal scraping against metal. Oh yeah, that sounded exciting. I listened to get the right direction that it was coming from; it was coming from another small path to my right. No time like the present I say to myself and head off on the path. There were no gardens here, just a short railing that cut the path off from what looked like a training arena. The sound was coming from two people in the center sword fighting. One was a dark haired woman and the other was a blonde man. At first I thought it was Thor but then I noticed that his hair was shorter and he was leaner. He had a body that was designed for fencing, at least that was what he was doing and I was guessing that he had the frame for it. I had never seen fencing before. I had to admit, it was quite beautiful to watch.

    The woman moved just as beautifully as the man did, her dark hair swirling around her body as she twisted out of the way of the man’s sword. Both were dressed in leather pants and boots, the woman wearing a short leather skirt around her waist. It was amazing to me how the woman moved as fluidly as she did wearing the leather corset. I would have preferred what the man wore, a simple cornflower blue tunic made of thick homespun cotton. I knew this because in home economics we were learning about making fabrics.

    From where I stood I didn’t have the greatest view so I started moving around the arena. Walking and watching at the same time I didn’t notice that a small group of people were also watching until I stopped a few yards away from them; I guessed they couldn’t see me since they paid me no mind. There was a massive red haired man wearing leather from head to toe, a shorter man with black hair who wore all black, and Thor and Loki. They weren’t saying anything, they just watched. So I took after them and leaned on the fence and watched as well. Seeing them bob and weave around each other, parry and thrust was hypnotic, I found myself being a bit jealous of their skill. How could I learn to do that? I could ask Aunt Sophia, see if she would let me take classes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for that. After all I was the leech that was dumped on her doorstep, nothing but an extra mouth to feed and clothe.

    The railing bowed a little under my arms as someone rested their arms next to mine, through my elbow actually. “I know you are there. I cannot see you, but I sense you.” The voice was that of Loki. I looked up at him, he was very tall, and I might have come up to his chest if we were both standing up straight. He had that smirk on his lips again. “Are you hiding on purpose?” His lips barely moved. If anyone looked over they would have just seen him looking on in a relaxed stance. Should I try to talk to him or should I just run? I didn’t know what to do.

    So I asked him if he could hear me. His head tilted slightly as if he were listening to a sound on the wind. “Yes, but barely. Your voice is no more than a whisper, like as if you were a spirit. Are you a spirit?” I told him that I was a dreamer. He nodded his head at this like he understood what I meant by that. I felt that this was getting a little strange and backed up a few paces. As if he sensed my movement he stood and turned on the path, moving towards the courtyard. That was when I noticed his right hand gesturing for me to follow him. I blame following him on being 13 years old, but follow I did.

    As I followed I noticed how straight his back was as he walked. He had posture that would put Aunt Sophia to shame, and that was saying a lot. I guess he knew that I was following because he casually put his hands behind his back as he strolled down the path. I use the word strolled very loosely, his stride was so wide I had to basically run to keep up with him. When I say keep up with him I mean I stayed at least three steps behind him, his steps not mine. He kept going until he reached a large willow tree and he disappeared under the canopy of the drooping branches. As I pushed the branches aside he was turned and looking in my direction, that smirk constantly on his face.

    “So you can touch certain things, that is interesting.” I noticed at that moment that his eyes were a deep emerald green, they matched the fabric interwoven in the leather of his tunic and coat. Even though he said that he could not see me I still felt like he was looking directly at me, right into my soul. Loki stepped closer, his hands still behind his back, his eyes fixed in my direction. I tell myself that I stayed where I was because I was standing my ground, but honestly I was terrified. I didn’t know what this man was capable of, or if my dream was going to turn into a nightmare. I didn’t want nightmares, I had lived enough of them.

    “I can tell that you are nervous, I can assure you that you have nothing to fear from me. I just want to try an experiment, as long as you agree.” Loki stopped his slow steps towards me, apparently waiting for a reply. I asked him what kind of experiment. A full blown smile broke his face, it was full of mirth and his eyes seemed to dance with excitement. “We do not happen upon such wonders as dreamers here in Asgard. I am not even sure I know what you mean by dreamer. But since you can touch some things, I wonder that if you concentrate hard enough if you can be touched or even seen. So I propose that you concentrate on making yourself solid and I will try to touch you. Is that acceptable to you?”

    Wow this was getting weirder and weirder as the minutes passed. So I simply said why not to him. Again he smiled at tackling a mystery. One hand came out from behind his back and he held it out. “Now all you have to do is concentrate. I can sense the general space that you are residing in at the moment. Remember imagine yourself solid.” Slowly again Loki starts to walk towards me and I concentrate on being solid. I felt a little silly but I was curious as well. He stopped about two feet away from me and reached his arm forward, but it passed right through me.

    “Well dear Dreamer it seems that you are only able to touch things and not be touched. Will you be a frequent visitor here at the palace?” I was at a palace? I had only seen the training grounds. So I simply said yes. A whole palace to explore that could be fun. “I am glad you find the prospect of coming back so appealing. Palace life can be quite tedious so I leave you with an open invitation to seek me out whenever you are here. It will aid in breaking the monotony. Thank you for indulging me in my little experiment.” Then he left. Nothing else was said. Tomorrow was Saturday so I knew I had time to explore a little more.

    I left the sanctity of the willow tree and looked up. The palace was all gilded and marble, oh I couldn’t wait. The columns were massive, reaching far higher than any building I had ever been in. I couldn’t see the ceiling, I felt so much smaller than I ever had before. I explored all the nooks and crannies that I could before I could feel myself slipping. All the while I could feel someone’s eyes boring into me, and then I woke up.


	3. The Fountain Garden

    It was a few weeks before I took Loki up on his offer of seeking him out. In that time I searched the entire palace, every nook and cranny I could find. The kitchens were especially awe inspiring. The chefs were able to make enough food to feed an army in a kitchen in only twice the space as my Aunt Sophia's kitchen had. They worked with an efficiency that would have made a military general swoon, but they always seemed happy on top of it. They would joke and play as they worked. It reminded my of the workers that came to the house to help with the renovations. Everything was done in good nature. The whole palace ran with that efficiency. It was kind of strange to me that no one was discontent with their lots in life, because at home most people weren't happy no matter what they did.

 

    After seeing palace life I did notice something about myself in my waking hours. I found myself smiling and not letting what others said about me bother me. I started to just let it roll off my back. It was freeing seeing so many happy and content people. It made you want to be that way too. Don't get me wrong, my life didn't change at all. I was still a bit of an outcast, was gawky, and now on top of it I had strange ideas and thoughts that came out in my school work. The thing that had changed was me. My mind knew that I needed to see what a life truly lived looked like, and it had shown me. I was becoming happy and contented.

 

    But back to Loki. Now when I say that I finally sought him out, that is a half truth. I could feel him watching me as I moved around the palace most days, not all the time, just sometimes. And when ever I would look to where I knew he was standing I would either see nothing, or catch a glimpse of green and black going around a corner. That was his way of inviting me to follow, I knew that, but still I waited until one day he did not follow me. This was when I wanted to find him, when he didn't think that i was going to follow him. I found him in the library, sitting on an armchair, surrounded by books. His brow was knit together and he was biting his lower lip, concentrating on whatever book he was reading. I had come into the library once during my snooping and decided against going back since none of the books were in english.

 

    As I sat down in the chair across from Loki he looked at me and scowled. "You are the most frustrating thing I have ever come across Dreamer." His tone was that of someone scolding another and I asked why?

 

    Pulling himself up to sit on the edge of the seat Loki said, "I have searched every blessed book in this library to try and figure out just what you are. I have read everything from metaphysics to the old myths and legends. I even went so far as to read our fairy tales. Nothing. It has given me a headache trying to figure you out." He huffed back into the chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He glared at her with a puzzled look on his face. "Maybe it was magic that allowed you to come here. Follow me, I must consult with the authority on the matter." And the books were forgotten as Loki got up swiftly and walked out the doors of library. Again I had to run to keep up, but the thought of knowing if this place was real or just in my mind was something that made me excited no matter how much I tried not to be. Oh if this place were real I thought. My life would be even better, because then that would mean that one day I could actually go there. Be solid. Have a normal conversation.

 

     Loki abruptly stopped at a set of double doors, I ran into him and he shifted forward from my slight weight. He turned towards me, instead of being angry he was smiling. While still looking my way he knocked on the heavy doors. They opened with no one opening them. That made me a bit nervous. "Come with me Dreamer, if she can't tell us what you are then I don't think anyone can." Loki stepped through the doorway and vanished in a mist of green that engulfed him. Slowly I stepped forward and reached my hand out, a purple mist swirled around my hand, tickling my skin. Closing my eyes I rushed through the door. Everything became cold for a moment and then I felt humid air and smelled the sweet scent of flowers. Opening my eyes again I saw a massive indoor garden with a balcony to my left that was open to a waterfall cascading a few feet away from the edge. In the center of the room was a fountain with white water bubbling from the top. Loki stood next to it with an older blonde woman dressed in blue.

 

     "See what I mean mother? Dreamer is here but not here. I can't touch her, at least I think she's female, and she can touch anything. I have consulted all of the books on every possible subject pertaining to what she could possibly be and have come up with nothing. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

 

     The woman looked in my direction the same way Loki did. She instinctively knew where I was and she seemed to stare into my soul. She gracefully walked towards me with an expression of wonder on her face. "My son occasionally forgets his manners, especially when there is a puzzle to be solved. I am Freya AllMother and you are the one who has been giving my son fits for these past few weeks. I am pleased to meet you, so to speak. Can you try and touch my hand?" Stopping a few feet away from me she held out her hand. It reminded me of the experiment that Loki wanted to perform on our first meeting. I reached out and placed my hand in hers. It was not much bigger than mine. She tried to close her fingers around me but they went through. She smiled and looked down at our hands.

 

     "Interesting. Her hand is in mine but I cannot properly shake it. My fingers go straight through. I am also only getting the base information on her. She is a female, but not full grown. She is from Midgard and I would say about 13 or 14 years old. She is but a child. No wonder you want to see her so badly Loki. I hate to see the mischief you two get into around the palace." She smiled at me and then at Loki. She removed her hand and stepped back.

 

     "You are welcome here for as long as you wish. But I am sorry to tell you both that I am ill informed of this type of magic. This is of the oldest magic and unfortunately long forgotten, even to someone like me. I will let The AllFather know of our visitor in case she ever is able to be seen, so the Guards do not try to kill her on sight. Until such a time Dreamer you will remain a curiosity."

 

     Looking at Loki, I could see that he was just as disappointed at the news as I was. 


	4. Sweet Sixteen

    The next three years were the best of my life and they seemed to have gone by in a blink. I guess that is normal when you are basically leading two very separate lives. My waking life was dull. I was in high school, had a paying after school job, no friends except for those that I worked with, and was on the fast track of graduating early. This was fine for Aunt Sophia since she knew after that I would most likely be heading off to college. Every new house there was always a basement with a leaky pipe. I still was locked inside at night like a prisoner, which was fine by me. I had no plans of going anywhere anyway. A plus to the last three years as well was I finally grew into myself, and I could no longer wear Aunt Sophia's throwaway clothes. I was taller and curvier than her, so they just didn't fit anymore. Which was fine, I was paid for the work that I did now, so I was able to buy my own clothes.

 

    My dream life was much better. Loki and I had spent every night together since my meeting with Freya. I could proudly say that I knew how to speak, read and write Asgardian. In fact it was the only language we spoke in for the most part. When we walked through the gardens no one thought twice about the fact Loki seemed to be talking to himself. He told me because it was a normal occurrence, with me there or not. Loki also decided to teach me how to fight. The first couple of lessons were very frustrating for him since he could only sense where I was. I beat him a lot in the beginning. Then he started cutting off his sight with a blindfold, that was when the lessons really began. We found though that I had a natural ability with a dagger, so we focused on that in the beginning and then moved on to hand to hand combat. He wanted to make sure that I was used to the motions before we moved to something more strenuous. Those sessions were so harsh that I woke up with bruises, I didn't know what I was hitting in my sleep, but there were bruises. And I retained the skills that Loki taught me, the fighting skills had come in handy a time or two.

 

    But there would be no teaching or mischief tonight, just a relaxing evening. Loki had promised me that. It was a special night, it was my 16th birthday. Loki had known that it was a big deal on Midgard and had decided that he wanted to do something for me. It had already been special because I had come home to a stack of birthday cards from the guys and one from my Aunt. The guys had given me money and my Aunt had given me a key, to the house. The house that we lived in. She also put in the card that I was not going to be living in the basement anymore, but was getting one of the rooms. Like I said it was already pretty special, but spending the rest of my birthday with Loki was probably the best thing that I could have been given.

 

    It was only 10 o'clock but I went and showered and changed into my new pajamas. Emerald green satin pants and a black tanktop. Yeah, I felt as pathetic as it sounded. I was dressing up for a figment of my imagination, a figment that I had happened to be in love with. He wasn't real, but I based all men off of him. He was patient, kind, and a smirk that knew you were in trouble when you saw it. Of course I had never said that to him, because leave it to my mind to have him laugh in my face.

 

    Once I fell asleep I awoke under the willow tree, our usual meeting spot all these years. He was already there. There a large animal skin on the ground and a huge pile of food situated around him and an extra seat cushion. Loki turned as soon as he sensed me. He stood up and walked towards me with his arms stretched out, I went into his arms for a hug. The smell of leather, cloves and tangerines surrounded me as his arms hooked around me. These hugs were wonderful but awkward. He could never hug me back, his arms just fell through me. He never seemed to mind, in fact he always sighed in contentment. It was like no one ever touched him. I knew for a fact that most people did steer clear of him, but that was because those who made him angry usually ended up getting turned in to the opposite sex for a day or an animal if they really pissed him off. Knowing I held on a little longer than I should have I backed off.

 

    "Happy Birthday Dreamer. I hope you are hungry." Loki moved to the side so I could look at the food that he rummaged up. He had definitely outdone himself. There was every fruit and pastry imaginable laid out on golden platters surrounding the rug. I told him that too, which made him blush a little. We both sat down and started eating. He asked me about my day. I told him all about the gifts I had gotten and how this weekend I was moving into an actual room and how I had aced my chemistry test. Then we just sat and talked about absolutely nothing. These moments were nice. There was nothing keeping us from being ourselves. He was thoughtful and slightly broody in these moments, but that was him so I didn't mind.

 

    Loki was in the middle of telling me about the time he had gotten lost in the North Woods as a child when he suddenly stopped talking. There were voices on the other side of the willow tree branches. Loki stood up as the branches pushed to the side and Sif and the Warriors Three walked through. Sif looked fierce with her warriors garb always on, like she was expecting Asgard to be attacked at any second, her dark hair swirling around with the slight breeze. Volstagg, with his red hair and beard looked intimidating until you saw his eyes, and his eyes had gone directly to the food at our feet. That man was always hungry. Hogan stood back by the branches, quiet and dressed all in black. Fandral was smiling ear to ear as always, and was the first one to speak.

 

    "Good afternoon Loki, having a little picnic are we?" The question was innocent enough coming from Fandral, he was the only one of the group that seemed to like Loki, even if it was only a little bit. I stood at that moment and he saw the cushion under me shift. His smile went to slight shock then he raised an eyebrow and looked at Loki. Loki just smirked but answered, "Yes I thought it was too nice of a day to remain in the palace. What can I do for you?"

 

    Sif smiled a fake smile. "I had heard about all of this food that you had delivered from the kitchen and I was curious. You rarely ever eat. I just had to see it for myself."

 

    Loki's smile basically disappeared at that moment. "Well thank you for your concern Sif but I usually have many things that I must do in a day. I find that it is a nice distraction to do things you do not normally do, like have a picnic in the garden."

 

    "Yes, I agree." Sif said as she took a few steps towards Loki. "But I have to wonder at the amount of food that is here. It is like you are having a picnic for two, and we both know that no one would willingly be in your presence the time it took to have a meal, let alone have a picnic. That would mean they would have to converse with you. And let's speak the truth here, the only reason people talk to you is because you are a Prince, nothing more."

 

    I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sif, who was a good friend to Thor was telling Loki how worthless he was. Fandral tried to step in, but she just kept talking with that fake smile on her face. Everyone didn't trust him. Everyone thought that he was a monster. Everyone wished he had never been born. I moved over to Loki and put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away. I could tell he was getting angry. Volstagg and Hogun just stood there smiling and laughing at everything that Sif was saying, while Fandral tried, without success to get her to stop. Every word bit into Loki, I could see it. I tried to tell him that I didn't believe a word when all of a sudden he yelled, "Stop!"

 

An invisible wave came off of Loki, slamming into all of us. Sif, Fandral, Volstagg and Hogan went flying out of the willow tree branches. I slammed into the trunk of the tree as Loki looked towards me. Pain shot through my back and I hissed. He started to come towards me but stopped and looked at his hands. "It is true, I am a monster." He turned, folded his arms around himself and ran through the willow tree. Fandral was sitting up and staring at me with shock before the branches fell back into place. 


	5. The Aftermath

     Fandral had been the first one to move and he ran right after Loki, the others sat where they were, laughing. The had the audacity to sit and laugh. Now I was a very mild tempered person and it took a lot for me to get angry, but every laugh, every taunt, and every mocking comment got deeper and deeper under my skin. Now I understood why Loki turned people into animals and sold them at market. But that wouldn't have been good enough for Sif. Unfortunately there wasn't much that I was able to do in my current state. Tentatively I stood up, the muscles in my back pulled as I stood and stretched. That tree was a lot harder than it looked, I would most likely be bruised in the morning.

 

     I didn't have many options on what I could do, so I decided to get in touch with my inner child again. I picked up the nearest pastry and snuck over to the curtain of branches and slowly pulled some aside. Sif had her back to me, so I took aim and hit her in the back of the head with the pastry. It splattered and started dripping down her back. Turning Sif scanned the area. "Who threw that?" But I had already gone for more ammo. I threw and ran. I didn't want them to pinpoint my location.  Soon they were covered in whipped cream, custard, and fruit.

 

     They were still trying to find the person who was throwing the desserts when Fandral showed back up with Thor close behind. They stood back and watched as Sif shrieked for vengeance, Hogan looked through the bushes, and Volstagg started licking the dessert from his sleeves. Thor cleared his throat and they all looked at him. He looked at Fandral and they both started laughing and leaning on each other for support. It really was a funny sight, three mighty warriors looking like they just went up against a cake and lost. She wished Loki were here to see it. Thor was attempting to get himself under control so Fandral stepped back from him. He started looking around.

 

     Clearing his throat again Thor became serious. "How could you Sif? Loki has left you alone all of these years, and you still feel the need to nettle him. You know he will not fight against you, no matter what you say or do to him. He has tried to make peace with a mistake from when he was a child and you make it a constant reminder. The AllFather has allowed me to decide your punishment, you need to learn to let Loki be. You will spend a week in the market stocks. And you two, because you did nothing to stop her, are banished from the palace for the week. I suppose you are going to have to get your entertainment and food someplace else." Hogan bowed his head and left. Volstagg looked like he was going to cry, but bowed his head nonetheless and followed Hogan. Sif on the other hand did not look remorseful at all, in fact, she looked like she could murder someone.

 

     I decided it was time for me to look for Loki. I had to make sure that he was alright, and to let him know that I was alright. It wasn't his fault that I had got caught in the crossfire. I searched the normal places. He wasn't in the library or the dining hall. I searched what seemed like the entire palace. I ran through corridors and through doors because I just didn't have the time to open them. I could feel myself starting to fade. I had to find him, he had to know I was alright. Coming full circle I made my way back to the willow tree. Under the canopy of leaves I noticed our picnic had been cleaned up. He had come back while I had been looking for him. A gift sat on the ground in green paper with a black bow. I sat down next to it. I wished he was here. Instead of opening it I grabbed a stick from the ground and used dirt to write on the package, "I will not open this until we see eachother again. Love Dreamer". I dropped the stick and faded back to reality.


	6. By the Glow of the Moons

     The next week was hell. My waking days were filled with finals and the beginning of summer, my nights were filled with looking for Loki. Well except for that first day. I couldn't help myself I had to go to the market and watch the punishment that Thor had handed down to Sif. I have to say that she looked much worse off than I had left her the night before. An entire marketplace throwing slightly rotten food would make anyone look less than perfect. Six more days should settle her down, at least for a while. I went home hoping that things would be better the next night. They weren't. Loki continued to ignore me. The gift was still there where I had left it. It haunted me each time I saw it when I came and left. I knew that if I could just see him I could convince him I was alright.

 

    On the fifth day I just sat under the willow tree. I was sad and I have to admit a little depressed. Why was Loki being like this? People did worse things than protect themselves everyday in my reality and expected people to still love them. I was drawing in the a path of dirt with the stick that I had written on the package with when suddenly the branches of the willow tree moved to the side. Expecting Loki I looked up with a smile, but I was disappointed. It wasn't Loki, but Fandral. He slowly came forward looking around, but of course seeing nothing. He seemed to relax a little as he looked around and down at his feet where my drawings were. He smiled.

 

    "I hope you are here because if you are not then I am going to feel a fool. I saw you, for only a moment when you slammed into the tree. I do not know who you are or where you come from, but I have a feeling that Loki does not feel he can forgive himself for hurting you, even if it was unintentional. He has hidden himself away in his room, that no one knows where it is. You can thank Thor for being an extremely happy person first thing in the morning and waking up Loki. Loki could not take it any longer." He chuckled and looked around again. "I wish I could see you to speak to you, it would make this much easier. I think that he only comes out at night, and roams the halls thinking you will show up around some corner. And in case you were thinking ill of Loki for what he did to Sif over a thousand years ago, do not. He was a child and tried to right the wrong, and it was not that large of a wrong compared to some of the things he has done since then. Find a way to get through to him, he needs someone more than he thinks he does." He left just as quickly as he had come. So he only came out at night. I knew what I had to do to be able to get to him.

 

    I forced myself awake, it was three in the morning. I had a little over 24 hours that I needed to stay awake, which meant I had to stay away from a tv, those always put me to sleep. This was going to be difficult, but worth it in the end. So I started the journey of exhaustion. I drank coffee, which I rarely ever did the next morning. Aunt Sophia asked me what I was doing and I just told her that I was doing a summer experiment to see how long I could stay awake without hallucinating. She looked at me like I had lost my mind, but said as long as I was rested on Monday for work she didn't really care what I did on my weekends. I went shopping for the things I needed for my bedroom. Went to the music store and got some nice relaxing music for the morning. Got some new clothes, and was home in time to start dinner. My eyes were starting to get grainy feeling, but I pushed past it. Dishes were cleaned and put away after dinner and I went up to my room to put everything together.

 

    New comforter, purple with black sheets. Lava lamp. Stereo. Beaded curtain on the outside of my door. Looking at my clock it was only 11 o'clock at night. Six and a half hours to go. I folded my laundry and wondered what Asgard at night would look like. Would it be the same type of moon, or more than one moon? I wouldn't really get a chance to look around because I was going to wait for Loki to show up. I had a feeling that he would go to the willow tree so I was going to stay clear and hide behind one of the topiaries. Looking at the clock again, it was midnight. The house was quiet, Aunt Sophia had gone to bed hours ago.

 

    Deciding that I couldn't stay in my room, because my bed was looking much too enticing I went for a walk in the garden. It was no where near as beautiful as the palace gardens, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Loki had taught me some tricks on making flowers grow and Aunt Sophia had reaped the benefits. She always commented on how large the roses were and how straight stocked the lilies became. I had found gardening to be very peaceful, and what better time than now to do some weeding. And I discovered that weeding by moonlight was not an easy task, but I kept going. The roses, the pansies, even the vegetable garden got a good weeding and by the time I was done I was covered in scratches due to the lack of light. That was fine, I didn't mind. The slight burning was helping me stay awake.

 

    4 o'clock. This night just did not want to end. I showered and changed which took about half an hour and then I sat in my chair by the window and started reading. It was a book that I had read before but absolutely loved, Frankenstein. The whole tale was just tragic. Getting into the book was easy and before I knew it my alarm went off. It was 10 to 6. Unfolding myself from the chair I turned on the peaceful music low and got into bed. The bed was soft, the comforter cozy, the blinds drawn to keep any light from coming in. I closed my eyes and got comfortable and before I knew it I was under the willow tree.

 

    It was strange standing there in the fading light, I had always went home when the sun was still in the sky. The crickets and the frogs chirped and croaked around me. I was able to hear the waterfall from the other side of the palace. Everyone seemed to be getting ready for the night. Or it was just the palace that became this quiet at dusk, I didn't know for sure. I came out from under the tree and looked at the sky. Pinks and purples swirled together with deep reds and darker blues. Stars had begun to twinkle in the sky, some shooting across leaving a trail in their wake. Thunder rumbled in the distance, I wondered if Thor was showing off with his friends to celebrate the completion of their punishments, or if a storm was coming in. It didn't matter, I could get soaked for all I cared.

 

    No time like the present to take up shop next to the nearest topiary. It was in the shape of a large bird of prey going in for the kill. How appropriate I thought to myself. I didn't think that at this distance Loki would be able to sense me, which would be good because I would have to corner him. So I sat down and waited. I didn't really do anything except for wait. This was one of the most important things that I had ever done, at least in my eyes. I wanted my friend back and my friend needed me. He could think that he didn't all he wanted to, that didn't make it true.

 

    The sky turned the darkest blue I had ever seen, the stars were bright, and two moons shone down onto Asgard, lighting everything with a gentle glow. It was beautiful. Hours passed and still I waited, I was just thankful that nothing could harm me because I heard some large animals moving around the forest that bordered the garden. Suddenly I heard the garden door to the palace open and saw a long shadow cast by the light behind them reached halfway towards me. The door closed and the shadow was gone. The sound of someone slowly walking towards me in the grass filled my ears. I was all of a sudden nervous. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? I hadn't thought about it.

 

    Loki slowly walked across the grass wearing his leather pants, boots and tunic. He wasn't wearing his long coat like he usually did. I noticed that his hair was pulled back away from his face and held in place with a piece of leather. He was carrying a large stein, I figured he had probably been drinking. He ducked into the canopy of the tree and disappeared from my view. I figured that he hadn't sensed me, or maybe he wasn't looking for me. That gave me the element of surprise that I needed. I made my way across the lawn quickly and gently moved the branches out of the way. What I saw almost broke my heart. Loki was propped up against the tree, sitting where I had slammed into it, holding the stein in one hand and his gift to me in the other.

 

    He must have heard the branches move because he looked up. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, allowing the smallest smile before he rested his head on the tree. His ankles were crossed, he seemed to just be relaxing. "What are you doing here Dreamer? This is not your typical time of day." Loki didn't open his eyes, I wanted him to so badly. But I explained how Fandral had talked to me and how I devised the plan to stay awake so I could be here at night. I told him that I was alright and that I didn't think he was a monster. All the while I hadn't realized that I was walking towards him. He became like a magnet in that moment.

 

    I knelt next to him. I told him how this week had been hell and that I didn't want to lose him because someone else decided to be stupid. I told him that I needed him in my life. I told him how his friendship was the only thing that kept me sane, even if he was only a dream. Loki looked at me then. "We are just dreams to each other aren't we. I do not want to lose you either. I care for you more than I should. We are destined to live our lives separately. The incident with Sif will never happen again, I will not allow it. Thor has promised to keep her away from me as much as he is able to. I have missed you so much."

 

    I raised my hand and touched his cheek, his eyes closed and he leaned in to my palm. Again he breathed in deeply, his nose passing my wrist. "Did you know that you always smell like honey? I have found a fondness for the scent, and find myself seeking out the flavor wherever I can find it." His voice had taken on a slightly husky tone and it sent a shiver down my spine. I had touched Loki before, but this was different somehow, his skin heated under my palm. With his eyes still closed he leaned forward. He wanted to know exactly where I was, that's why he did it. His lips were inches away from my ear.

 

    "I have a secret that I must tell you, but before I do I ask one thing. You were the light in my days and now my nights. You understood and accepted me like no other ever has. You have made life bearable for someone who others dispise. I ask for a simple thing, and if you refuse I will understand." My hand had moved to his shoulder while he whispered in my ear. I felt the same way about him. He was the one thing that seemed real to me in life. I asked what it was that he wanted. He chuckled. "I would ask for a kiss." He leaned back then, my hand sliding from his shoulder to his chest. I looked down at my hand, it had fallen where his shirt was slightly open. He had asked for a kiss, that was a simple request for a secret. But I had never kissed anyone before, what if I did it wrong? What if he didn't like it? Why was I worried? It was my mind so of course he would like it.

 

    I slowly moved closer to him, my leg leaned into his lean, muscular thigh. My hand gripped his shirt to steady myself and leaned in closer. His scent filled my head, the leather from his pants made a slight creaking sound as he shifted. I licked my lips, my mouth seemed dry as I lightly rubbed my lips across his. It was his turn to lick his lips and I felt his tongue gently trace my lower lip. That was new. I felt him, barely, but I did. That made me a little bolder, I added pressure and his tongue touched my bottom lip again. I gasped and leaned in even more. The gasp forced my mouth slightly open, allowing his tongue access.

 

    Loki deepened the kiss, biting my bottom lip. He tried to grab the back of my neck but his hand captured nothing and he growled. The growl sent another chill down my spine. His tongue moved with mine, my legs were getting weak so I shifted so I was basically sitting in his lap. He gave a groan. My hands moved from his chest to his neck, the muscles straining from not being able to really move. He wanted to touch me, I could tell. His body was shaking. Growling one more time Loki broke the kiss. I have to say as first kisses go, it was pretty stellar. He leaned his head against the tree again and I laid on his chest. We laid there in silence for the longest time.

 

    Loki sighed and opened his eyes. "How about you open your present now?" I sat up and took the present that he lifted to me. I took it and quickly took the ribbon and paper off. The box that held the present was beautiful, dark wood with an intricate shield on the top. Opening that I found a delicate silver chain with a deep green snake pendant hanging from it. It was Loki's symbol. I smiled and thanked him. It was so beautiful. "I carved it myself and it is enchanted. Whenever you come to Asgard it will find you. It will appear on you as if you have always been wearing it." It was the most beautiful present anyone had ever given to her before.

 

    "And now Dreamer for my secret. I only found out this afternoon myself, but it seems that I am to be married in a months time." 


	7. The Decision to Move Forward

     During the weeks that followed I'll admit I became a bit depressed. I discovered that I had to be satisfied with that one kiss. That kiss would be burned into my mind for the rest of eternity. I tried to be cheerful and helpful whenever I was around Loki, but at home, around the workers they knew something was wrong. They just knew me too well. Jack was the one who confronted me first, he just wanted to make sure that I was ok and left it at that when I told him I was fine. It was his wife Jill, yes a very unfortunate coincidence of names, who finally got the story out of me.

 

    It was a normal day doing a supply run. Jill drove the work van and I sat in the front seat, like every other time. Instead of pulling into the hardware store she kept driving. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. A few blocks down we stopped in front of a little bistro. "It's just the girls today, having a little lunch. And yes I cleared this with your Aunt Sophia. She knows we're gonna be gone for a bit." Her slight southern accent came out whenever she was away from Aunt Sophia, she thought it made Jill sound uneducated. We were seated pretty quickly and ordered the alfredo and sweet tea.

 

    Jill leaned on her hand and studied me for a few minutes before finally speaking. "Well it seems that you aren't going to talk on your own, so spill. What guy has you tied up in knots?" It always amazed me how astute she was, she was kind of like Freya in that respect. But what could I tell her? That I was in love with a figment of my imagination and that my mind is now forcing him to get married after we shared an awesome kiss? That we tried to spend as much time together as we could and that we were even cooking up something special for the reception as protest? When it was said out loud I sounded completely insane, so no I couldn't just tell her. What I did tell her was that I had a friend that I had strong feelings for, who was foreign and how I thought he had feelings for me as well. But because his family still lived by the customs of their homeland he recently found out that he was now one half of an arranged marriage and neither one of us was too happy about it. Jill listened as I got all of that of of my chest.

 

    "Is he going to live up to the bargain that his parents made?" Unfortunately Loki was, it was his duty as a Prince of Asgard to ensure political ties and nurture them, even if that means with marriage. His words not mine, I could have hit him when he told me that. But I didn't. He was doing what he thought he had to do, I got that. I simply told Jill that he was going to go through with the wedding after they both turned 18. A small lie considering she could put me in a rubber room. "Well it seems to me that you have to get past him, not get past being his friend, mind you. If you are two are as close as you say you are then he is going to need you in this time more than any other. Stay his friend, but move on. In fact, Jack has a little brother a few years older than you and he's moving in with us. I'd be happy to introduce you to him." I blankly looked at her for a moment. Move beyond Loki? Could I and did I want to? It would be nice to be held, to be touched.

 

    We ate in silence and then paid and got the supplies from the hardware store. Lunch had been so heavy I didn't feel like doing much work when we got back to the house, and that was when I saw him for the first time, CJ, Jack's little brother. He was leaning up against a black 67' Impala, his long legs crossed at the ankles, his arms crossed over his chest, a slight stubble on his face and golden hair that gleamed in the sun. He was facing away from me, but if the rest of the package was an indication, he wasn't half bad. He turned at that moment and looked right at me, or at least I thought right at me, he was wearing dark sunglasses. His hand came up and pulled the glasses down his nose so he could see over them. Blue eyes fixed on me and a small smile formed on his lips. Jill whispered in my ear to breath and walked away laughing. I followed to finish with the supplies.

 

                                       ***************************************************************************************************

 

    It was the day of the wedding and Loki had asked me to help him up to the ceremony. He didn't want me to be there for that, which was fine. I had no desires to see him wed to someone else, besides I had some finishing touches that had to go on the surprise for the honored guests of the hall. Every royal from the nine realms were to be in attendance, even the Midgardian ones, we just couldn't resist. Loki was getting married out of duty, not because he loved the woman, and he wanted to protest that and I was all for it.

 

    There were several people in the room, so we didn't get much of a chance to talk, but whenever I noticed his stress level getting a little too high I would place my hand on his shoulder and whisper in his ear to take a deep breath. He would do it and calm down. The servants were very happy about this new development in the Prince, to them today was a happy day, so he had to put on appearances. Finally it was time for him to get his armor on. The gold had been brought to a shine that I could almost see myself in it, the leather had been buffed and polished and the suede had been brushed to soften it. The helmet was all that was left. Loki tilted his head down and one old hunched servant came up to him. "May I your Highness?" Loki just nodded and sat down. The servant shuffled forward with the helmet and grunted as he raised it high enough to slip onto Loki's head.

 

    I realized that the armour must be what made the Asgardians so strong, they wore it most of the time and it looked extremely heavy. The helmet must have weighed about 30 pounds. I know I wouldn't have been able to withstand the weight. My hand went up to the necklace as I looked at him, the man that I fancied myself in love with. He was going to be leaving in just a few minutes to get married to a Princess who he didn't know, this was going to be the first time he will have seen her. I rubbed the necklace charm for strength and for the ability to love him as a friend and nothing more. He stood then, the horns on the helmet making him about two feet taller than he already was, he was definitely impressive, but he always was.

 

    "Gentlemen I need a few minutes to myself, would you please wait outside for me, and make sure that Thor does not come in here." The last part was slightly yelled as the servants closed the door. I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. I told him that everything was going to be ok, that his life was moving forward and that it would end up alright in the end. He scoffed. "Why do I have such a sense of duty? If I did not I would not be getting married to a woman I had never met. Instead I would be wiling away my days with you for company, but I guess it was not in the stars. What will you do?" I tried not to cry as I told him that I would just have to get on with my life, but that I would always be here for him, everyday until the day I died. I would probably lead this double life for that long. We both laughed at that because we knew it was true. "I hope you find someone worthy of you."

 

    I hoped so too, for my sanity. We heard the latch slide and I moved away from him, so he wasn't looking like he was hugging someone invisible. Thor burst through the door in a whirl of blonde hair, red capes and silver armour. "Brother are we ready to send you off as a sacrifice?" Thor's eyes gleamed at the joke. Loki looked at the ground and said, "Yes I am Thor, yes I am." With that they left me in the room. The door closed with a great thud and I was left in silence.


	8. The  Reception

   The silence had been deafening when I was left alone in Loki's room. I stood there in the middle of the room listening to nothing. What would it be like now that he was getting married? I knew that our relationship would be different, but how different would it be? Would we still be able to have our walks and talks? Would I still be able to even spend time with him, or would he be expected to spend the majority of his time with her? To be honest I was very afraid of losing the one friend that had always been there for me. My one constant. I figured that I would worry about that later, I had a job to do and roughly a half an hour to do it in.

    I picked up a little pouch from Loki's desk and put it underneath my shirt, making sure that nothing stuck out. I knew it would be invisible, we had tested it many times to be sure. It was relatively easy to get to the kitchen since the halls were totally abandoned, everyone was at the wedding. No guards, no servants, no one crossed paths with me as I made my way to the lower levels.

    Once inside the hot kitchen I noticed that a few cooks were still there, most likely to ensure that the feast did not burn. They were stirring pots and buttering vegetables, they were completely engrossed with what they were doing. I walked passed them to a chamber by the ovens. It had a 20 foot long table set up and there was what I was looking for, just like Loki had said. The cakes, yes I said cakes. You see the Asgardians were extremely extravagant and over the top when it came to weddings, especially if it was royalty. So there were over 700 mini cakes lined up on this table, the main cake was already in the reception hall, waiting to be cut by the bride and groom. Quickly I went to work, taking a little powder and sprinkling it over each cake. I would get the large cake when last. Methodically I worked, each pinch I saw Loki's face telling me that he was getting married. He had been so sad, and this was our silent protest. I could hear cheering and stomping coming from above me, I worked a little faster.

    Loki had told me that the ceremony would be long, but once I heard the bells toll, that meant that he was married and they were making there way to the hall for the feast. The bells tolled when I put the powder on the last cake. I figured I had a few minutes before they came walking through the door, so I rushed up the stairs at the end of the chamber and ran through the door. The room was decorated in green, black, and purple. And there at the far end was the cake. Five massive tiers with two little figures on top. I heard footsteps coming towards the door and I picked up speed. I ran as if my life depended on it. This was the one thing that I could do for Loki, and it was going to go off without a hitch. I removed the little pouch from under my shirt and once I was in close enough proximity I threw the rest of the contents onto the massive cake. I threw the pouch under the nearest table and ducked into the corner.

    The feast was basically like all other wedding receptions I had heard about. There was a lot of food, alcohol, and a lot of women fawning over the bride. I mean she was pretty enough, but she was all wrong for Loki. She was golden whereas he was dark, she was constantly smiling whereas he preferred to wear a scowl. But this wasn't a love match, they both married for political reasons, so I guessed she was as much a victim as he was. Then the toasts came, some were heart felt, some were funny, and one was full of underlying hatred. Sif had made a toast that made the hair on my arms stand up. She simply wished them a happy life, for however long that that may be. Thor had scowled at that, but I could tell that he was not pleased, I think Sif knew that as well because she refused to meet his gaze.

    Finally it was time for the cake cutting. Loki stood up and looked in my direction while holding his hand out for his new bride. She smiled sweetly at him, but I could see something in her eyes, a sadness that I hadn't seen before. I was right, she had not wanted to be there either. They made their way over to the cake, his eyes were staring at the ground. He leaned down and whispered something to his wife and she grinned a little and nodded her head. He looked up again towards me and winked. The cutting of the cake did not take long, they fed each other a piece and then walked back to their places at the main table. That was when all of those little cakes started to be passed out, each person got their own. I didn't have the greatest vantage point so I moved closer to the main table only to see Loki slowly shake his head no then he looked at his mother. Right, she could sense me too, so I back away to stand behind a far off table so I could still see the entire room.

    Once all of the cakes had been distributed Odin banged his staff on the floor, signifying everyone to start eating. The lights overhead glistened off of the forks as the guests started slowly eating the cake. I thought it funny how civilized everyone was being. Usually the Asgardians were very true to the mythology of my world. They were rowdy, throwing bones over their shoulders to the hunting dogs. But because this was a wedding everyone was on their best behavior, even Volstagg who seemed to be savoring every little bite. I smiled as I knew it wouldn't be long. The powder was set to go off three minutes after Odin told everyone they could eat.

   Now I had no real clue what to expect, Loki had only told me what the powder did and promised that it wouldn't hurt anyone. It started out as a slight rumble. The plates started to shake. A few of the guests looked down at the cake on their forks as the rumbling got louder. The loudest sound coming from the massive cake in the corner. Freya put her fork down on the plate and looked at her son, who continued eating like nothing was happening, his bride doing the same. I leaned in as the cakes all seemed to vibrate quickly. All of a sudden the quaking stopped and the room was quiet, it sounded as if all the sound had been sucked from the room.

    Then like a supernova the five tier monstrosity in the corner exploded. Frosting moved through the air like a sheet, anyone in it's wake was covered in the sweetness. Gasps were heard by the women that the white froth hit, men just stared down at themselves. Then all the little cakes started popping. Cake flew towards the fronts of the guests, ensuring that no one was left unscathed, well Loki, his bride and his mother were unscathed. But everywhere else I looked there was cake. One guest had a perfect circle of frosting around his eye, he was attempting to find a clean surface to wipe his monocle off with.

    The room erupted into chaos, women screeching because their best clothes had been ruined, men pulled out weapons looking for some hidden advisary. It was quite comical. Odin's jaw was clenched as he looked sideways at his son and daughter in law. Freya just kept eating the cake as if nothing had even happened, maybe she hadn't been too keen on this match either.

   I couldn't help but smile at the devastation that was the reception hall. I felt myself starting to fade, but I wasn't ready to go yet. My life waited for me and I didn't want to face it. But I woke up anyways.


	9. The Restoration Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who have bookmarked my little story here I apologize for how long it has been with posting. Life has gotten in the way a bit and I feel it has been too long. I've been away from Dreamer and Loki for too long. Thank you for your patience.
> 
> In this chapter there is a mild scene of domestic violence, which is never mild in my opinion. Just a forwarning.

So life went on from there. I still spent my nights in Asgard, Loki always there. His bride was fine with it because she spent most of her time in the library. I started seeing CJ in my waking hours and he was sweet enough, but there had been something about him that reminded me of Loki. So much in fact that after just a few short months I gave my virginity to him. Unfortunately we were caught and now I'm living in the basement again. I never knew someone could be so much more under lock and key than I had been before. CJ was banned from the house and I was forbidden to ever see him again. Looking back I fancied myself in love with him. I think that it was his smile and charm that got me, he always seemed to be listening, when now I knew that he never was. But I'm about to get ahead of myself.

My school was almost the same, CJ would sneak on campus and see me at lunch. It was always nice to see someone who didn't sneer at me in my waking hours. But my junior year was proving to be one of the most difficult in my young life, not in school, but personally. That year I found out just how cruel the one’s who say they love you can be.

My Aunt was throwing a large, elegant party at the house to celebrate the ending of the restoration. The creme de la creme of our small community were going to be there. This was my Aunt’s time to shine, I know I didn’t want to ruin it so I had offered to stay in the basement and not get in the way. She told me that that wouldn’t be necessary because I had been an integral part of the work. This had shocked me of course, but she went on to say that all of the workers were going to be attending, in their finest clothes. And just like that she handed me $200 and told me to get something fancy for myself. I allowed my jaw to drop once I was out of her sight. This was an act of kindness that was rare in my Aunt.

The following day at school I called Jill from the pay phone at school and asked if she would help me pick something out. My Aunt had given everyone the day off because the party planners were going to be there decorating, and she wanted everyone to feel well and rested as she put it. But I had had to still go to school. Well, such is life right? Anyways, Jill was waiting for me in the front of the school. It was strange to have all the popular girls see me get picked up by her. Jill and Jack had gone to this high school, had been captain of the football team and head cheerleader and were still together. They were the all american dreams in the eyes of those who wanted it. And she was picking little old insignificant me up to take me shopping. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the reaction. And off we drove with those girls watching.

I found the dress shop to be quite intimidating. I had never seen so much velvet, taffeta, and sequins in one place before. The first dress I looked at I blanched when I saw the price, how could so little of a dress cost $120? The black fabric didn’t cover much and it was smothered in black and silver sequins, definitely not my style. But truth be told I had no idea what my style was. Jill came up to me with a few dresses tossed over her arm. They were all longer, I added the black monstrosity to the pile, just to see what it looked like.

Trying on the dresses was an ordeal it seemed like. Every dress had something wrong with it. One was too short, one was too long, one made me look frumpy, and one was too tight. Jill went off to look for other dresses and I felt a little defeated. I had never really gone clothes shopping and didn’t really know my size, so this was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I was peeling off the black dress, the one that had been too tight, when Jill knocked on the door to the dressing room. “I found it!”, she exclaimed. Without warning she threw open the door and threw a dress at me. The fabric slid through my fingers and onto the floor. I looked at the dark emerald green silk and gauze and instantly thought of Loki. It was the same green as the suede of his coat.

The black dress couldn’t get off fast enough for me, I almost ripped it trying to get it over my hips. After the awful dress was hung back up I reverently picked up the green silk. I had never felt a more luxurious fabric in my short life. “Are you done yet?” I heard Jill call from outside. “Give me a second.” Quickly I got the dress unzipped and on, the zipping up was a lot easier on this dress because it wasn’t a full back, it rested right under my shoulderblades. It hugged my curves, and I was very curvy at 16, in just the right way. The gauze created a toga like sleeve and it was clipped together with a small gathering of jewels in the shape of a flower. The gauze went from the shoulder, across the straight bodice hem to the opposite waistline where a duplicate flower bunched the fabric and let it drape to bottom hem. It was gorgeous. The silk was like flowing water as I moved to open the door of the dressing room. It was the perfect length, I didn’t trip.

Jill was standing there waiting for me to come out, she seemed to have been dancing from foot to foot, her hands over her mouth. The moment I came out she stopped. I was afraid for a second that she was going to say that it was horrible but instead she smiled and said, “That’s the one. Oh my God, that’s so the one.” She kind of did a happy dance just her own and then handed me a shoe box. “I thought the dress would be the perfect length so I figured that flats would work. Also I know you’ve never really worn heels before. Go ahead try them on.” I sat down and opened the box. Inside were a pair of black grecian sandals that would tie mid calf. I put them on and agreed they would be perfect for tonight. It was almost summer and it was warm out until late. The silk would be cool and the sandals were just the perfect compliment.

The dress and sandals had been on sale, so I was able to pick up a necklace and matching bracelet made of black stones, and I had some money left over. It was 4:30 and the party started in about an hour and a half. Jill raced me home and she left so she could get ready. My Aunt was waiting for me, looking like she just walked out of the 70’s, like always. On my way downstairs she handed me a bag and rushed me off to get ready. I showered first after the balmy day. I decided to wear my hair up because it was the only way to tame it enough to be civilized. I looked down at the bag my Aunt had handed me and peeked inside. There was some make-up and some body spray, pomegranate and raspberry. The makeup was minimal, which was fine, I only knew how to do the basics anyways. The scent was wonderful, it reminded me of the pomegranate tree that I had outside my window as a small child.

Make-up done, body scented, dress on, and sandals strapped on. Ok, I thought I was ready. I felt nervous. I had never been apart of one of these parties, what if I humiliated my Aunt, or my co-workers? What if I made a complete fool out of myself. I heard my Aunt open the door to the basement. She called and I told her I was coming. As gracefully as I could I ran up the stairs, almost running into her. She hadn’t moved from the doorway. She looked me over, nodded her head and then turned and left. I guessed that she had approved of the way I looked.

The party started with a tour of the house, this would make it easier for my Aunt to sell it in the next couple of months, then a buffet dinner, then dancing and even a little bit of karaoke. My Aunt always had the same routine, and that routine always worked. It would be the talk of the town until the house sold. It was about 9 when I went off to get some punch from one of the tables in the garden. One of the guests followed me and we chatted for a few minutes. He was handsome, a little older, but respectful. He had a gleam in his eyes when he laughed, and he seemed to like to laugh. Movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention and I excused myself. Sometimes people would come to the property where the party was being held and try and crash it. The movement went to the back steps of the house.

Cautiously I went up the stairs. I wasn’t a fool, I didn’t know who I was following. Just inside the door I saw the golden head of Cj, I breathed a sigh of relief. I put my hand on his shoulder and he suddenly spun around. The look of anger on his face made me take a step back. He reached out and grabbed my arm and wrenched me forward to the dining room. He flung me into the room and I tripped on my dress and landed on my knees. He was moving toward me. “Who the fuck was that? What gives you the right to talk to other guys?” He stopped and stood over me. I tried to find my voice, but I was too frightened.

“You step away from her CJ.” Whipping my head around I saw Jack standing in the doorway. CJ glared at his brother and then looked at me again, “this isn’t over, not by a long shot.” Jack answered for me. “Oh yes it is. You and me are gonna have a real long talk when I get home, and you had better be there when I get there. If you’re not I will find you.” Spinning on his heel CJ stalked off. Jack ran towards me and helped me up. He checked my arm and had me move it around to make sure everything was in tact. After finding that I was fine he told me the party was winding down and that my Aunt had said that I could turn in if I wanted to since we had a heavy day of cleaning coming our way. That was one thing the party planners didn’t do, clean up. I just nodded and headed downstairs. I felt a little numb. I didn’t understand why CJ had acted the way that he had. Why had he been jealous? I barely spoke the entire night.

  
Even though it wasn’t even 10, I was exhausted. I didn’t even bother to change, I just laid down on my bed and almost instantly fell asleep.


	10. A Surprising Revelation

The light streamed through the willow’s branches. Birds sung in the surrounding trees. The grass seemed to be soft, I had never noticed before that I truly couldn’t feel it, I knew it was there, but I couldn’t really feel it. I had never been to Asgard this early. It was so peaceful. The palace was just starting to wake. I could smell the kitchens start the fires for the day. I guessed that I was able to notice these things because of the devastation that I had just experienced. CJ treated me in a way that I never thought that I would never be treated, Loki had trained me so I wouldn’t be treated that way. But I hadn’t moved, I had been paralyzed.

The snake charm had appeared around my neck as soon as I had shown up, like always. I put my hand to it and started walking towards the palace. I needed to see Loki, I needed to know that I wasn’t some fool. It was then that I had noticed I was still wearing the dress, looking down I noticed that there was a small tear where I had landed on my knee. Thankfully Loki couldn’t see me. There weren’t many people around so it didn’t take long to get to his chambers, you would pass them if you didn’t know what you were looking for. The faint shimmer was easy to miss, especially if you were Thor and too busy trying to see it.

I opened the door without knocking, I had been given the ok to do that. The room was still dark, the curtains pulled back over the window, allowing only the slightest light in. Loki was still asleep. I usually arrived a few hours from now, so it wasn’t so surprising, especially with how late he stayed up every night. I moved over to the bed. Loki was lying on his side, one hand under his pillow the other under his chin. His hair was partially in his face and without thinking I reached out and tucked the hair behind his ear. Slowly he turned over, his face coming into my hand, his nose inhaling deeply at my wrist. But still he slept. It was then that I realized that he was naked, at least from the waist up, I couldn’t see below the fur blanket. I sat next to him. His skin felt silky under my hand.

In a dream like way Loki’s fingers stretched out to encircle my wrist. I gasped. He had never touched me before, maybe sleeping had something to do with it. His touch was tingly as he lightly traced circles into my skin. With a sigh he said, “Dreamer.” He started to pull my hand away from his cheek and started pulling my forward. My free hand came to rest on his chest while my upper body came to rest against his. His skin was cool, his breath was hot against my cheek. He inhaled again, his face nuzzling into my neck. Gently his teeth grazed my skin, then his tongue traced the same area afterwards. He lazily kissed his way from my neck to my jawline, I slowly tilted my head until he was at my lips. We hovered an inch away from each other, my breathing coming slightly fast, his slow and steady. Moving up my arm his hand rested on my neck. He growled. Quickly and with a little bit of force he brought my lips to his. The kiss was not like the gentle kiss we had shared, it was hungry and desperate. We were both stranded in the desert searching for water.

Loki’s arms crushed me to him, then he rolled me over onto my back. His weight against me felt like heaven, pushing me into his bed. My skin was on fire as he raised my arms slowly above my head, stretching me out beneath him. He reached down and threw the blanket aside then grabbed my thigh to spread my legs so he could get between them. He gently ground against me. I moaned into his mouth as his hand slide over my silk covered thigh, ending in cupping my ass and lifting me even closer to him. Loki wasn’t wearing any pants so the only thing between me and him was a couple of thin layers of fabric. The hand holding my arms above my head started tracing down my body, my hands now free. Every place that he touched left a trail of fire in it’s wake.

The kiss became less desperate as Loki brought his legs up to rest under my thighs, his hands rested on my waist. Finally the kiss broke and Loki started to kiss down my neck again, his hands moving from my waist up to my breasts. The heat of his hands seemed to burn through the stiff bodice of my dress, making me push towards him wanting more.

Suddenly a loud clap of thunder sounded from outside in the hallway and I could hear Thor laughing. Loki opened his eyes then and fell forward through my body. Quickly he sat up and started looking around, then down at his hard cock. “Dreamer?” he asked tentatively. I told him that I was there and touched his cheek again. He sighed contently and laughed. “Sorry about that, I’ve been told that I have a tendency to seduce women whilst I dream it. Wait. I was touching you?” His back went into that ramrod straight that I had come to recognize as just him. He got off of the bed as another thunderclap rang through the hallway. Swinging open the door he dashed into the hallway, completely naked, which was a very nice sight if I might say. I could hear Thor and Fandril laughing as Loki yelled about being woken after such a short night's rest.

Loki came back in and closed the door, resting his back against the wood, his hand covering his face and he gave an exasperated sigh. The door being pushed from the outside almost threw Loki forward. Thor and Fandril came in. Thor walked as if he owned the place and Fandril waited halfway in the doorway resting his arm on the frame. He looked around, a thing he always did. Maybe it was just warriors instinct. “You might as well come in Fandril. I would prefer not to get showered and dressed with the whole palace watching.” That made Thor start laughing again. Fandril came in and shut the door.

“Sorry Brother, but we have some news of your wife. She’s heading this way and will be here in a few hours. She wishes to speak to Father.” Loki looked as if he was going to murder Thor. “I would like to point out, as you said, she is my wife. I knew she was coming 2 days ago. And I take offense that you would think that I do not keep in touch with her. It may not have been a love match, but we have grown to be friends. Now can you leave so I can get ready for the day?” Thor just smiled and walked towards the door. “I forgot how grumpy you were first thing in the morning.” Fandril moved aside for Thor to pass then looked at the bed at the exact time I moved to stand. That made the bed shift a little. He looked from the bed to Loki and then back again, then he smiled. “If you were wondering Loki, she's a redhead.” And then he left, just as if he were giving the weather report.

Loki turned slowly and raised an eyebrow, “And how exactly does he know that you are a redhead?” So I explained it to him, as painful of a memory as it was, it still happened. But enough time had passed to where he didn’t dwell on the horrible day and looked at it scientifically. “So when you are hurt in a sudden way and not expecting it and when you and whoever you are around are asleep you can be seen or touched. That's interesting. I wonder if Heimdell might have something to say on the matter, that is if he will ever let me back on the Bifrost. We can only hope.” He paced as he spoke and I don’t think that he was aware that he was still naked. I didn’t mind the view at all. He was all lean muscle, his hair was still a little disheveled from sleep and his voice still had that husky sound of just waking. It didn’t help that he had had the need to yell at Thor upon first waking.

Suddenly he stopped and looked down at himself. “Good Lord woman, why didn’t you remind me I had no clothes on?” He sauntered into the bathroom and I could hear running water. I just laughed, when he got preoccupied it was difficult to tell him anything.


	11. A Revelation

Catrine arrived a few hours later, looking as lovely as she always did. I found it fascinating that even though she looked and acted completely different from Loki, they were very much alike in many ways. She was studious, like him. She loved a well thought out prank, like him. They both had that straight spine when they were serious. They actually would have been perfect for each other, if either one of them had wanted to be married to the other in the first place. And that was why she was here now, to petition for divorce. She had been steady in her speech, keeping her eyes on Odin and Freya, never wavering, and that was the key, be confident.

The audible gasp from the audience seemed to hit Catrine like a ton of bricks and she cast a glance towards them. All of the royalty was there, all those who were at the wedding were looking on as she was, in their eyes, disgracing a Prince of Asgard. Thor even looked as if he wanted to throw something at her. Loki had stayed by her side the whole time, not seeming surprised by the petition. Finally Odin spoke.

“Catrine, you agreed to this marriage, just like Loki did. You agreed to spend your life as his other half, to help guide him and keep him from himself, like all good Asgardian women do. Why not just say nay at your father’s request? Why now come to me asking for something I very rarely ever give?” Loki looked in my direction and winked, at least he was enjoying himself. Catrine took a deep breath.

“I agreed to the marriage with Loki at my Father’s request, the same as Loki agreeing to yours. I have loved another for many a year and have not forgotten him. He is always on my mind and in my heart. Loki and I have never consummated our vows, but yet I find myself with child. This child is of my love’s bloodline, not the Royal bloodline of Asgard. I have shamed my husband by lying with another man. Loki has taken upon himself to forgive my transgression, but with the child, I could not ask him to raise a child that is not of his blood. Beside’s Loki has no romantic love for me either, only friendship. Instead he loves someone he has never before seen.” Loki’s head whipped around at that, and I was guessing that that was not part of their previous conversations.

“When we were married he spoke of someone who he spent his days with and did not plan on changing that, that was why I went home to my Father’s house. If truth be told, it is my husband’s transgressions that caused mine.” Odin stared down his nose at the Princess, not even glancing at his son. Thunder rumbled in the distant and Odin slammed his staff into the floor.

“I allow this dissolution of the marriage of my son Loki and his disgraced wife Catrine. Catrine, you are to leave the castle and never return. You are also ordered to marry the stable master who has brought you disgrace, thereby losing all titles and any right to them upon your good Father’s death, and yes I know the father of your child as the stable master at your Father’s house. You not only disgraced yourself and your husband, who as far as I am aware has not laid with any other woman since your marriage, but you have disgraced your Father with your weakness. And know this, you are not allowed to say no or to change your mind in the future, no matter how horrible or unbearable you feel your life has become.”

Odin slammed his staff on the marble floor once more and people started to disperse. I could see Catrine trying to talk to Loki, but he just gently pushed her hand away when she tried to grab his arm. He said something that I couldn’t hear and her face fell. She had humiliated him, made him seem at fault for her indiscretion. I had been there for the conversation about them consummating their vows. He had said that he had not wanted to force her to have sex because they didn’t know each other. He had wanted her to feel more comfortable with him, making it completely her decision. She had left for home soon after that, so she had never given him the ok. And as far as I knew Odin was right and he had been faithful to her, well except for this morning, but I didn’t count as real because I was not real.

Loki left Catrine standing in the main hall, the guards coming to escort her back to her carriage. I ran after him, not really caring what happened to her now. I found him soon enough, he had been cornered by Thor. I walked up behind him and placed my hand on the small of his back, like I always did, it was a signal that it was me so he wouldn’t turn around.

“Catrine is a fool brother, she did not know the worth of the man that she married. You will find another, someone more suited.” Thor placed his hand on Loki’s neck and smiled at him. “Maybe we need to focus on the one you cannot see, if what Catrine said is true.” Loki just smirked and put his hand on Thor’s shoulder. “I’ll be fine Thor, I know one day I’ll find my match. But rest assured there will be no more arranged marriages, they are not much fun.” 

Thor gave Loki a quick hug before he let him leave and we went back to his chambers. He just went and sat in his chair in front of the fire, he wanted to be alone, I could tell. Catrine had done something unthinkable in his eyes. She had mentioned me, and in a way that he could not have me because I was not real. I knelt beside him and rested my hand on his outstretched knee. I told him that I was going to go out and roam the castle for a while, if he needed me he could come find me. He nodded before saying, “I’m sorry but I don’t think that I would be good company today. Catrine betrayed something that I spoke to her in confidence. That is regardless if my mother and father know about you, the whole kingdom does not. They are going to think me more insane than they did before, I’m not looking forward to that.” I understood completely.

I left Loki in front of the fire, knowing that he would not come and find me. I roamed the palace and the marketplace. I listened to the whispers as news spread of the divorce, and all of the whispers seemed to not include me. The invisible person that Loki was supposedly in love with didn’t escape any lips as I listened in on conversations. Instead there was a lot of anger towards Catrine, she had taken a vow and she had broken it. It was odd hearing all of this, because where I was from divorce was becoming almost more common than marriage.

  
The sky had started to darken as I made my way back to the willow tree. Loki would see that no one had any different of an opinion of him as they did this morning. Everything would be better for him in the morning.


	13. Out of the Fire

On the last day of my Junior year I came home to find Jack waiting for me, he had been avoiding me as much as possible since the CJ incident, I think he thought it would make me think ill of him. But the contrary was true, he had been my knight in shining armour that night. I had no idea what CJ would have done, I had never seen him like that. But here was Jack, and it looked like he had wanted to talk. He was at the table in the backyard and he indicated I should sit down. So I sat and Jack told me that CJ had been sent off to a military college. He had never shown any signs of violence before and he had no idea where it had come from. He apologised profusely for CJ and that he would never darken my door again. I told him that it wasn’t his fault and that I was fine and that I hoped that CJ got whatever help he needed.

Everything went back to normal after that. The summer was filled with packing up the house because it had sold, having long days with Loki learning about different herbs and spells. Of course he was doing the spells not me. But I had noticed that Loki tried to touch me more and more as each day went by, this made me touch him more and more. It was a good summer.

I turned 17 and school started again, my last year of high school. I went into drama and ended up making a few friends, it was nice. I worked in the new house after school, like always, but I got a shock when my first paycheck was much higher than it usually was. I had brought it up to my Aunt and she said that it was time that she had given me a raise, but that I couldn’t start slacking off because of it. If anything I worked harder. Because of that I would go to bed a little earlier and I would go and watch Loki sleep, and I proved to myself that I was a coward because I never touched him after that time when Catrine came to visit. Even though I wanted to.

The year went fast and in a blink of an eye I was getting ready to graduate. Loki found this to be an achievement because Asgardians didn’t have school per se, they had training which was much different. He asked what I had planned on doing after that. I told him how Jack had offered me a job as a receptionist for his company, which I was floored at since I had always thought that they just worked for my Aunt. Turned out they were the leading contractors in town, my Aunt just used them all the time because of how good they were. Of course I took it and my Aunt wasn’t too surprised by that. She even smiled and said she was proud of me for trying to make it on my own. I also told her that I had saved up the money to be able to get my own little apartment. She had actually put her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would always have a place with her if I needed it. And that was probably the best gift she could have ever given me. I’ll admit I cried a little over that.

The day of graduation came fast. I got my diploma and when I got home was surprised by a banner with Congrats Grad on it. Tables were set up in the front lawn and there was a grill with burgers grilling, a buffet table of fresh fruit and a massive cake next to a pile of boxes and envelopes. We all laughed and danced and sang, opening the gifts I ended up getting over $600 and a gift certificate from my Aunt for $2000 at the local furniture store for furniture for my new apartment. It had been a great day. That night Loki took me horseback riding. The horse had been confused by feeling someone on their back but not seeing anyone, but Loki had just spoken to it and it calmed down. Loki was riding a regular horse, but the horse I was riding had eight legs. Loki told me his name was Sleipnir and that he was Odin’s horse. Odin had given us the go ahead to use him for the day. Loki took me everywhere, to the falls at the base of the palace, along the river that flowed below the bifrost. All in all it was the best gift that anyone had given me.

As we rested Loki was looking at me intently, I asked what was wrong. “Nothing is wrong Dreamer, I just wish I knew if you were ever going to become real or if I am to pine after you until I fall into the Allsleep. I have been working on something, a little experiment.” Loki got up and walked to the saddle bags on the horses, he pulled out a small tube of blue liquid then sat back down. “If I am correct, if I drink this I will be able to touch you for a short period of time, want to see if it works?” So that was what he had been so secretive about lately. I said yes.

Loki stood up and placed his hand out to help me up. He drank the moment my hand touched his, waiting a moment he stared at his hand, he smiled and then closed his hand over mine, not through. He pulled me to him and gave me a full bodied hug, like he had been starved for it. His hand went into the hair at the back of my neck, his cheek rubbed against mine gently, then he laughed as he lifted me off the ground slightly. “It worked!” Still smiling he looked down at where I was and raised his hands to my face and slowly started to trace along my brow, my nose and my lips. He lingered on my lips for a moment before slowly leaning down for a gentle kiss. Not demanding, but not chaste either, not with the lick to my bottom lip. I’d give him that, he could kiss.

“I would love to sit here and kiss you senseless, but there is something I have been wanting to teach you, and couldn’t because I could not touch you. You have to be able to touch the other person. I want to teach you to dance.” And so he did. The effects lasted for about an hour, and we got some good dancing in before then. He swore he would make more but it would take about 2 months for a larger batch to be complete. We made it back to the palace just as I started to fade and gently kissed his cheek before disappearing.

And it just went on from there. I worked for a great company, had my own apartment, didn’t really go out that much, but then spent my nights with Loki. I went to an Asgardian Ball, which I wished I could have partaken in. The women dressed in one color all over, their hair and makeup the same color as their dresses. It was beautiful and a little freaky to me. I had wondered what would happen if someone wore a multicolored dress, that was until someone did. It was the most garish sight I had even seen, it looked like she had ran through multicolored paint. Loki took me riding again, and gave me my next dancing lesson. It was wonderful to be able to feel him take my hand as we walked or as he slowly spun me.

  
I was truly content for the first time in my life. Sure I wished I could take Loki to the company picnics and parties. I was not lonely though, I just wished he were real. Little did I know that my contented life would only last a few short years before it was turned upside down once more, and it happened on my 21st birthday.


	14. The Beginning of a Most Unexpected Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long guys. This chapter had me a bit stumped. I think I rewrote it several times, hope you enjoy.

Jill had insisted on taking me out for my 21st birthday, she said that no one should be at home when they could be drinking when they turn 21. I really didn’t want to go out, but she and the other girls from work wouldn’t let me stay home. They said that I either came willingly or they were going to kidnap me and put me in the trunk if I faught. So there I was getting ready to go out for the big 2-1. I couldn’t help but smile at Loki’s reaction when I told him that I would most likely be very late and when I told him why he just shuddered. “I have seen what happens when women get together and let loose, so to speak. Men can become eunuchs that way. Just come back with minimal damage.” He had smirked like he knew what was going to happen tonight. Maybe Asgardian women were different in that respect, maybe they were wilder than we were, who knew. All I knew was that his little talk did not make me feel any better about the night coming up. I was forced to buy a new outfit, complete with wedge shoes. Thankfully Jill allowed me to buy jeans, so I was only minimally uncomfortable with the black drape, mostly backless, spaghetti straped shirt. Oh and I had to wear a tiara. Yeah, this definitely was not me.

I was putting on my shoes when I heard Jill, Teresa, and Crystal burst through my front door calling for the birthday girl. When they saw me they all told me how good I looked and Jill helped me with the damned tiara because I couldn’t get it to stick in my thick hair. She ended up having to twist the sides up and pull them back to get the combs to stay in my hair. It was a mess, at least for me. Then it was time to go. They rushed me out of the apartment and wouldn’t tell me where they were taking me. They kept me talking to keep my nerves down, and I was nervous. I didn’t do things like this, ever.

We ended up on the outskirts of town about 15 minutes later and parked in front of the Club Poison. I had never heard of it, but then again I didn’t think that this small little town even had a club. Going inside I knew why I had never heard of it. There were scantily clad men walking around, one was on a stage wearing only a g-string dancing to the music. Jill had decided to take me to a stripe club. I had only been with one guy and that was once and many years ago, I couldn’t help but look down at the floor as I showed my ID to get in.

“We’ve got a Birthday Girl!” I looked up at the man who was checking ID’s and he was looking at me with a smile, then he winked as I was surrounded by half naked men and ushered to a table in the very front of the stage. The girls joined me. Soon we all had drinks, mine being the biggest and most obnoxious on the table. There was a large 21 sticking out of the top of a piece of pineapple. I took a sip from the straw as I looked back at the man at the door. He was looking at me smiling still, then it dawned on me. That was CJ. I looked at Jill and she knew why I was.

“He’s been home for a few months. He just wanted to see you, that’s all. He’s not coming near you, I swear.” I knew Jill still thought I was hung up on CJ because I didn’t date, she didn’t know that no one else appealed to me, at least not here. She leaned in again, “I made sure to tell the head hancho that you would probably bolt if they did the traditional 21st birthday dance, which is you being pulled up on stage and having about 10 strippers strip for you. So they won’t be doing that, but each one is most likely going to give you a little love.” What did she mean by a little bit of love? I hadn’t noticed that a club mix of Poison had come on until I felt my chair being moved slightly away from the table to face the stage more. Looking up I saw a tall man with a big toothy grin and wearing only leather pants gyrating in front of me. He got into my lap and moved against my legs, coming in for a quick kiss on the cheek, saying Happy Birthday as he got up and went back up to the stage. I had to admit it was kind of hot and I felt myself blush slightly. Jill, Teresa and Crystal just laughed.

The drinks and dancers kept coming. Each one showing me a little bit of attention in different ways. One even slid across the stage and jumped off when we thought he was going to go over the edge, right into my waiting to brace hands, which landed on his not overly muscular chest. His skin felt like fire. And I discovered that one could not help but become slightly turned on when one was surrounded by and being danced on by mostly naked attractive men.

Everything went quiet all of a sudden and a hush seemed to come over the women surrounding me. I looked up and saw a tall figure standing in the center of the dimly lit stage. From what I could see he had dark hair and pale skin, at least from what I could tell by his hand. He was facing the back of the stage and the green light that surrounded him gave him an eerie presence. Suddenly Christina Aguilera's Your Body started playing over the speakers, the lights came up and figure on the stage did a full spin without seeming to move at all, flipping his jacket off as he did it. He stopped facing me and my breath caught for a moment, he looked like Loki, almost exactly. He was wearing this great grey v neck t-shirt and fitting grey jeans that looked as if he wore them often. He dropped to his knees half danced, half crawled closer to the edge of the stage, his shirt coming up a little with each moment. Dropping down onto his hands he ground down onto the stage, and women's voices erupted around me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He raised his head and looked right at me, winking. He pushed up back onto his knees and took his shirt off, throwing it into the crowd.

He was at the end of the stage and he flipped around to sit with his booted feet dangling over the edge. seeming perfectly relaxed he out stretched his hand and motioned for me to come to him. On instinct I shook my head, I don’t think I could have moved anyways. He just smiled and jumped off the edge and slinked towards me, looking me up and down as he did. This was not so much of a dance, but more like a seduction. I hadn’t noticed that my feet were hooked around my chair legs until he dropped down again and crawled right up between my legs. I tried to back up, but surprise I was sitting in a chair, so that wasn’t happening. His face was inches away from me as he slowly made his way up my body, his sides making contact with my inner thighs. The heat radiating off of him making me want to arch towards him. I closed my eyes when I felt his nose graze my neck and I heard him chuckle. His hands ran up my arms, straining from holding onto the bottom of the chair like a life line, then the contact was suddenly gone. I opened my eyes and he was standing, still between my knees. I unhooked my feet and tried to close my legs, that wasn’t happening. Suddenly he dipped down, his head going into my side, his arm going around my waist and I was hoisted off of the chair, it fell over from being kicked. In no time he had me over his shoulder and he was walking back towards the stage, giving my ass a slap for good measure. His right hand held onto my thigh, gently digging into my flesh. I couldn’t help but feel a spike of lust go through me.

Very gently the Loki lookalike dipped over and placed me on the edge of the stage, my hands going back to brace myself and my legs betraying me and spreading a little to keep balance. Before I could close them or get away, his knee was between mine and he leaned down again as he started leaning forward. I kept going back to, until I felt the cold stage on my back. The chorus of the song started and he hoisted himself the rest of the way onto the stage, bringing his knee all the way up my thighs. The pressure of his leg on my clit made me arch a little and he just smiled. He pushed off of his hands and while slowly moving his hips his hand went down his stomach to the buttons of his jeans. With a little flick the top button came loose and then the next and the next, until they were all done. He wasn’t looking anywhere else but at me.

Again he moved quickly as the verse started and somehow got us both on our feet. He danced circles around me, sometime dropping to his knees, sometimes gently rubbing up against my body. Then he made contact with my back, his whole body covering me like a blanket, his arms snaked across my hips and up to rest on my stomach. He started to move both of us in little circles, my body betrayed me and just went along with it. It was just the most surreal moment of my actual life. Suddenly he stepped back and grabbed my shoulders, spinning me to face him. He grabbed the sides of the jeans, and tore them from his legs, now he was only wearing a small strip of black fabric that barely covered his cock. I know my eyes went wide, because he smirked a very Loki like grin.

Reaching his hands out put his hands on my waist and pulled me towards him, my hands went to his biceps to steady myself, and not being able to help it my hands started moving towards his neck. Over the music I heard him tell me to hold on and I did as he lifted me, kind of tossed me in the air and then while I was airborne grabbed my thighs and brought me back down on him. I’ll have to admit that it felt wonderful. He started grinding against me, and for a few moments I thought I was done for, then the song ended. He placed me back down on my feet, keeping a steady grasp on my hip and did a little bow. He led me down the stage and back to my seat, where he told me happy birthday and that he would be back with another drink, maybe something a little bit stronger.

The girls just couldn’t believe it. They said that they came here all the time and in the month he had worked here, never saw him do something like that. Looking around I saw him at the bar getting the drinks for the table, he was leaning on the bar, his back straight as an arrow, his booted feet crossed at the ankles, and he was looking at me. He just smiled as I straightened my own back in surprise and averted my gaze. Jill had said something and I started to turn to look at her when I saw CJ. He didn’t look happy as he watched the stripper watching me. I didn’t care, something told me that the stripper could take care of himself if CJ decided to go back to his old ways. A chair suddenly plunked down beside me and the Loki lookalike passed out the drinks, except for the last one and then sat down beside me.

“This is called a Nervous Nellie. It’s kind of like a mai tai, very tropical, very strong.” He handed me the drink. “So why is it called a Nervous Nellie?” I asked him. He laughed, and it was a rich laugh. “Because one drink will take all of those nerves that you have and make them disappear. But not to the point of stupidity. I had one the first night I worked here. Worked like a charm.” I couldn’t imagine him being nervous, the guy who was sitting in only boots and a very small pair of underwear, that just happened to leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. I raised the glass to him and downed about half of it. It was smooth but also took my breathe away a little. He just chuckled at that. “I have to get back to work now. I’m Tom by the way.” He held his hand out and I took it. “Astrid, very pleased to meet you.” He smiled big. “Ah, the beauty of the Gods. I see you were aptly named.” I was shocked that he had known the meaning of my name. He must of seen my shocked because he laughed and said, “Hey I’m not just a pretty face.” He stood up and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving to serve more drinks.

The Nervous Nellie really did help in calming whatever nerves I had. I almost started acting like all the other women in the room. I was cheering and throwing money, I got a few more lap dances, I found that I was having fun. Tom would also stop by our table and chat with me for a few minutes whenever he was in our area. And I will admit that I was very drunk. Thankfully I only needed one Nervous Nellie, the rest of the night went smoothly after that.

Things had started to wind down and the girls were starting to hint at wanting to leave, which was fine for me because I knew I was going to be hurting tomorrow. I had never drank this much in my life. Suddenly Tom was sitting next to me again, leaning onto the table making it seem like he had his arm around me. His chest was against my arm and he just sat there looking at me for a few moments. I looked at him, and swore I was looking at Loki. I smiled at him, and he smiled back, it was a mischievous grin. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, “Can we go somewhere after this, I get off in 10 minutes?” Then I felt his tongue gently trace across my earlobe. If I hadn’t been drinking I probably would have thought about it, but I said yes. He pulled back and smiled at me. “Good, I’ll just go get dressed.”

I saw Jill gawking at me from her seat. “What?” Jill just laughed and told the girls that they were leaving. I walked them out and Jill pulled me aside. “Do you know what you’re doing? You don’t know him.” I hugged her. “I’ll be fine, besides we are probably going to go for coffee. By the way thanks for not allowing me to spend my birthday alone, it’s definitely going to be a night to remember.” Jill smiled and shook her head and got into the cab. Jack would drive her back in the morning for her car. As soon as she shut the door she unrolled the window. “You had better call me when you wake up. I won’t start calling until at least 1.” The cab drove off and I could still hear her, Teresa and Crystal laughing. They were all a few years older than me and had gotten some of the wildness out when in their teens, but I hadn’t had the chance to rebel. Maybe this was my way of doing it.

The balmy night was like a caress as I waited for Tom, and then I started getting second thoughts. No matter how much he looked like Loki, he wasn’t. He was someone I didn’t know, was I really making the right decision here. I didn’t know, but it was soon too late. Tom came out of the side door in an identical outfit to what he was wearing on stage, but I was pretty sure those weren’t tearaway pants. As he got closer I saw him smiling. “Trying to get away?” I laughed, because I was considering it, even if it was slightly. “Nope, just needed a little fresh air. It gets stifling in there.” He just nodded. “It does, if I wasn’t doing this to help pay for college I wouldn’t be here. I called a taxi for us, it should be here any minute.” He put his arm around me, the smell of leather from his jacket assaulted my nose, and there was an underlying scent of sandalwood. He smelled almost exactly like Loki. This night was going to be interesting.


	15. The Ending of a Most Unexpected Birthday

When the cab showed up Tom opened the door for me and allowed me to get in first. I scooted over to the far side so he could sit down and once he did he didn’t close the door. He was looking at his hands seeming like he wanted to say something. “You know I would understand if you changed your mind here, I wouldn’t take it personally. You really don’t know me.” I just looked at him for  second, he was giving me an out. Which if you thought about it was really sweet and spoke volumes about his character, most men wouldn’t have done that. That was what made my mind up. Without saying anything I slid over and leaned across his lap, patted the leg that was sticking out of the door for him to bring it in. Once he did I closed the cab door. I then gave the cabbie my address. I decided I wanted this, even if nothing happened and we just talked all night, but I wasn’t naive to think that that was going to happen. I didn’t slide back over and just leaned against Tom’s side, his arm around my shoulder. It was comfortable, it reminded me of the times Loki and I would would sit under the willow tree and just talk, it was familiar. From the corner of my eye I could see his long fingers playing with a strand of my curly hair, twirling it around his finger lazily. We talked about nonsensical things, how he liked Louisiana and how it differed from Europe, how he was studying to be a physicist, and how he got into stripping as a good workout routine. I had never thought that it would be.

 

We pulled up in front of my apartments and Tom paid for the cab. I was digging around in my purse for my keys when I felt him come up behind me. He didn’t touch me but I could sense him there. I found them and unlocked the front gate, it slammed shut behind us and he grabbed my hand, I heard him give out a slight held breath when I didn’t pull away. I just smiled. His thumb rubbed against the top of my hand and all too soon we reached my apartment. I took my hand away to unlocked the door. His right hand came to rest on the door jam and he gently pulled my hair back away from my neck with his other. Suddenly I felt his breath on my neck and I halted, then I felt his lips gently brush my skin, then I heard a low growl in his throat. He gently nipped my flesh and then licked over the area. “You know, you taste really good. Do you need help with the door?” He was teasing me, but that did bring me back to what I was doing. I unlocked the door and we went inside.

 

Flipping a switch my small apartment came into view. I always worried about bringing people here because it was very me. The dark burnt orange overstuffed couch, the huge movie and book collection, the diner motif in my kitchen and movie posters everywhere, all framed. My bedroom was much more decadent, with velvets and fluffy pillows. “Wow, nice apartment..” I saw Tom looking around and he slid out of his leather jacket and put it on the coat rack by my door. I placed mine next to his. I watched him walk into the living room and look at the bookcase, which had all manner of books on it. “Nice library, I’ve noticed that books aren’t as much of a priority in most people’s lives anymore, it’s nice to see.” I smiled. “Yeah I love to read, it doesn’t really help with my lack of social life though. Hey, I’ll be right back, I want to get this tiara off real quick” Tom was standing next to me in a moment gently grabbing my wrist. “If it’s not too much to ask, can you keep it in?” I think I must have blushed the red of my ancestors because he laughed and started pulling me into the living room towards the couch. “It’s kind of what attracted me to you in the first place, all that wild flame red hair, topped by the tiara. I just wanted to rub my face in it.” He chuckled as his legs hit the couch. As he sat down, his legs spread wide in front of him, kind of like how Loki sat when he didn’t think anyone was looking.

 

Tom was looking up at me as his hands went to my waist then skimmed down to my thighs, pulling me forward. When I was close enough he pulled one leg up and put it on one side of his waist and then did the same with my other leg. I was now straddling him, his legs came together to give me a place to sit. “But there is one thing that I have been wanting to do every since I took you up on that stage.” His hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb rubbed against my bottom lip, he pulled me closer to where I was flush with his chest. I could feel his heart pounding, mine was too, in anticipation. His lips were soft against mine, I felt his hand moving up my hip, then I felt his palm against my side. The shirt I was wearing had ridden up to cover his hand. I gasped at the unexpected coolness coming from his palm and I felt his tongue graze mine. It sent a shock through me, and a growl came from him. The kiss deepened, his hand moved further up onto my ribs. He sat up more making contact between my legs with his stomach and I moaned into his mouth. This just spurred him on, his hand went from my hips to my ass and he pulled my lower body more towards him.

 

I slid my hands up his chest to his shoulders and up into his hair. It was like silk. The kiss became more urgent, more wanting. He leaned us forward, breaking the kiss. He continued to kiss me, my neck, my collarbone. His hand left my cheek and left a blazing hot trail following his mouth until he cupped and gently squeezed my breast. I ground my hips into him, trying to get as much sensation as I could. The strapless bra that I was wearing was hindering some sensation, but Tom knew what he was doing and got around it somehow. Suddenly his hand moved to my back and I was spun around to lay on the couch. He let go of me and I opened my eyes. He was looking at me like he wanted to devour me, his pupils dilated, the green of his eyes almost non existent. In a fluid motion he swept his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor, he then grabbed my ankles and took my shoes off, tossing them aside. Then I noticed something that I hadn’t when I was up on the stage with him, a tattoo on his bicep. It was green and looked exactly like the pendant that Loki had carved for me. I brought my hand up and covered it. He tilted his head sideways and smiled at me, “What can I saw I love mythology. And now let's see if you have any tattoos my little beauty.” He took my hand from his arm and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it, then he proceeded to kiss each tip, grazing his tongue across each pad. He came closer to me with each kiss, his hips grazing my covered inner thighs, the sensation was a slow burn, flames licking upwards. He grabbed my other hand and pulled me forward to sit up.

 

Tom kissed me again, my palms going to his bare chest. His skin was smooth under my palms, testing the waters I moved them a little lower, he moved into my hands, silently telling me to continue. He had grabbed the edge of my shirt and was pulling it up, I could feel his knuckles graze my skin and the fabric glided up my back, making me arch. He broke the kiss again and whispered into my ear, “Raise your arms Astrid, I can’t wait to see you.” I slowly skimmed my hands up his body and with a little maneuvering got my hands over my head, he hadn’t moved back which made it difficult. It seemed like he was savoring the moment. Finally he leaned back, lifting the shirt as he did, that too was tossed onto the floor. He gave an appreciative sigh. “Well my my, you really are a beauty worthy of the Gods. Let’s see more of you shall we?” I didn’t expect him to grab my waist and start pulling me up to stand in front of him. He leaned forward on his knees and rubbed his face into my diaphragm, inhaling as his hands ran up the back of my legs, up my back to the clasp of my bra. He unclasped it quickly and slowly peeled it from me, tossing it aside. His hair tickled the underside of my breasts, he dipped his head and licked up my stomach.

 

Not knowing really what to do I grabbed onto his head for balance. His hands went to the button and zipper of my jeans. Slowly he got them open, and started pulling them down. I had to shimmy a little to help get them over my hips. As he pushed them the rest of the way down his palms didn’t leave me, like he was memorizing the shape of me. I hadn’t realized but my panties had come down too and I was completely naked. Tom sat back onto his heels and helped me get one leg out of the denim and then the other. Instead of putting my foot back onto the floor he pushed my leg up onto his shoulder, he again gave a little inhale. “You might want to hold on.” I dared to look down and saw that he was a few inches away from my clit, I could feel his breath on me. His arm snaked up my body and held onto my lower back, I grabbed onto that and waited, closing my eyes. 

 

I had no idea what to expect, I had never done anything like this. It had been rushed and sloppy and messy the first and only time, this had not happened. The heat of his mouth got closer and finally I felt his tongue gently lap at me, not on my clit, but around it. I sighed, then he fully licked at my clit and I moaned, my head falling back slightly. My leg almost gave out from the sensation but he kept his hand on my thigh so I wouldn’t fall. I couldn’t help but move my hips towards him with each lick, and I felt him chuckle against me. His hand moved up my hip making me squirm more, his tongue never leaving me. I felt one of his finger graze against my lips and then enter me, not too much, but enough to make me gasp and push my body into his hand. His mouth left me for a moment, “You are so wet, I don’t know how much more of this I can stand.” And with that he pushed his finger into me all the way and we both groaned, he pulled out a little and did it again. I could feel him watching me as he did it. His thumb pushed into my clit making me jump a little. He pulled out again and then added a second finger, pushing into me again. I couldn’t help it, I moved against his fingers, he barely had to do anything. I felt fire starting to build in my stomach and my body started to grasp at his fingers tighter. “Oh please cum for me.” His whisper left like a caress against my hip. He pushed a little harder onto my clit and my body exploded around him. He gently continued to rub my clit, making it last as long as he could, he stopped when I kept trying to get away. Slowly he sat me back down on the couch. I couldn’t help but slump into the back pillows.

 

“Now that was beautiful.” Tom’s haze hadn’t gotten any less intense. He reached for the fly on his jeans and started to undo them as he leaned forward and took a nipple into his mouth. He gently sucked and then began kneading the other, rolling the nipple between his fingers. I felt him shift and he pulled his pants down as far as they would with him still kneeling. I heard the sound of a condom wrapper and his hand left my breast and ripped it open. He unlatched from my nipple and slid up my body to my lips, kissing me again. His hands were on my hips pulling them off the edge of the couch. He broke the kiss and just looked down at me for a moment before pulling me into his lap.

 

“Wrap your legs around me sweetheart.” I couldn’t help but comply and I felt the head of his cock slightly go into me. I arched a little towards him and his breath hitched this time. His hands came up under my back and pulled me forward, my arms went around his neck and he held me up, not allowing me to go further onto him. Inch by lucious inch he slowly thrust into me while holding me up. Then finally he brought me down into his lap. His groan filled the room, his forehead resting on the crook of my neck. Slowly he raised my body and then slammed me down onto him again. His cock scrapped my walls, stretching me. It was just about the most wonderful feeling I had ever experienced. But it wasn’t enough, I wanted to feel every inch of him. 

 

I unhooked my ankles and brought my legs out slightly, spreading myself open for him and when he thrust again he went deeper, his head falling back. I pulled his head forward and kissed him. One hand went into his hair the other ran down his back and the kiss turned almost primal. He thrust harder and faster into me, I could feel myself building towards another orgasm. His heart pounded against his chest, his breathing coming faster. The kiss was broken just because we couldn’t hold it any longer. I felt myself shattering again, felt my walls squeeze around his cock. I cried out into his shoulder, gently biting him to muffle the sound some. With that bite I felt him thrust into me one last time, his head fell back and he gave short thrusts riding out his own orgasm. 

 

We sat there for a few minutes slowly getting our breath back. Tom lazily ran his hand up and down my back. Slowly he raised me back up onto the couch and withdrew for me, giving a groan as he did, he then too turned himself up onto the couch. His jeans were around his knees, his boots not allowing them to come fully off. I appreciated him then, he lithe muscular body, the smooth pale skin, the dark hair around his cock. He was beautiful, just like Loki. He must have seen the look on my face because he asked, “Who you thinking about?” I looked into his emerald green eyes and saw the laughter there. He was teasing me, so I just smiled. He finally sat up and took off his boots and jeans, then got up to get rid of the condom. I didn’t move, and I didn’t want to, I was too relaxed for that.

 

Tom came back a minute later and rested his hip on the doorframe into my kitchen, crossing his arms across his chest, and again I was reminded of Loki. He tilted his head as he looked at me, he then smiled a very Loki like grin. “Just so you know, I’m not done with you yet, not by a longshot.”

  
And Tom proved to me that he wasn’t. We had sex in almost every room in my little apartment, the shower definitely being the most difficult to maneuver, until we both collapsed in my bed. Surrounded by a sea of green velvet the same color as his eyes I fell into the first dreamless sleep I had had in a long time.


	16. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the length of time in between chapters. This year has ended up being a bit rough. But my inspiration was rekindled.
> 
> So lets see what happens the day after, kind of a short chapter.

The ringing of my cellphone woke me the next afternoon. I glanced at the other side of my bed and saw a neatly folded piece of paper on the pillow with a single rose laying on top of it. I reluctantly picked up my phone and saw it was Jill, of course she would bombarded me with a million questions, so I let it go to voicemail. She would leave a message and I would call her back. I needed coffee before I could speak. Instead of getting a voicemail Jill sent a text. She only asked that I respond and let her know that I would call her later. So I shot off a quick text, getting a thumbs up back. I set down my phone and glanced at the folded paper again. I wanted to reach for it, but I didn’t think my sleep addled brain could take whatever was in that note.

 

Getting up I grabbed my robe and made my way to the living room as I put it on and tied it. The living room looked as it had before I got home with Tom, my clothes were even folded neatly on one of the cushions. The coffee seemed to take an eternity to brew. The smell started to pierce the fog that surrounded my brain, making it a little easier to wonder what was in the note on the pillow. Finally my ancient coffee pot sputtered, the tell tale sign of the finished pot. I just went through the motions of making my coffee and sitting at the table sipping it. My mind stayed on that folded piece of paper. I had no idea what it said, but I could tell something happened to me the previous night. I wasn’t the same person who came home, I had finally lived, and not just in my dreams with Loki, but in my real life. I hadn’t just gone through the motions, I had taken a chance and it hadn’t disappointed.

 

Finally my brain didn’t feel like it was going in slow motion and I walked back to my room, looking at the note on the pillow. I picked the rose up and held it to my nose, breathing in the sweet scent. I sat down and picked up the note, opening it. Tom’s handwriting scrawled across the page in beautiful loops, it was a piece of art, just like the man. Finally I read the words on the page…

 

My Dearest Astrid,

I would like to start out by saying that I regret I couldn’t be there when you woke up, I would have helped get the tiara out of your hair. Unfortunately, I got a call early this morning that my father had a stroke and I had to rush home, permanently. I will probably never see you again. That is very unfortunate. Last night meant as much to me as I think it did to you. You were sweet and giving and red fucking hot all at once. I will miss the chance to get to know you better, but I will always carry the memories of last night.

Always,

Tom

 

I smiled as I read the little love note. But I was surprised to notice that I wasn’t sad. Yes I would have loved to get to know Tom better, but life had a way of making things happen as they were supposed to when you least expected it. Regardless of what happened after this I needed that and I had a feeling that Tom had needed it as well. We were two people who needed something more than just ourselves and we were there for each other. And it had been glorious. I gently folded the note and put it in my night stand. I decided that I would keep most of the details to myself of what happened, I wanted those memories to be my own. So I called Jill back and gave her very little to go off of as I took the tiara out of my hair, which wasn’t easy. But it finally came out and I almost threw it across the room. Instead I put it in the nightstand with the note.

 

A few hours later I was out walking, I didn’t have any particular place in mind, I just walked. Sometimes it was good to just get out and about. My cellphone chirped letting me know I had a text. I stopped to read the message from Jill, it was a picture of me on stage with Tom. I smiled at the memory. I looked up and found that I was standing in front of a tattoo parlor, then I remembered Tom’s tattoo. Loki’s symbol. I was suddenly filled with a need to do something that I had never considered before. I wanted to get a tattoo, a reminder of the previous night and for a love that was all in my head.

 

I was surprised when I walked in, it was clean and smelled slightly of bleach, kind of like a doctor's office. In the movies tattoo parlors are usually depicted as grimy places that good boys and girls never enter, but what I saw was very different. I walked over to the walls that were covered in poster displays, but there were no posters, just tons of pictures of tattoos. A man walked out from behind the counter and smiled at me. “What can I do for you today?” Looking at him he didn’t look as friendly as he sounded. His arms were covered with skulls and dragons, all brightly colored. He was wearing a black tank top that showed that the tattoos probably went onto his chest and then they went up his neck. I told him that I wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate an event. I then told him that I was afraid that it was going to hurt and not looking forward to that. He asked if it was my first tattoo and I just nodded. His smile got even bigger. “I’ve never had the pleasure of tattooing a virgin before. If you want the least amount of pain you would want to get it either on the inside of your wrist, the back of your neck, your upper back, outside of your upper arm, or on your upper inner thigh. Those are where they hurt the least.”

 

I didn’t want the tattoo to be visible at work, so the wrist and arm were out. But I also wanted to be able to see it whenever I wanted to, so the back and the neck were out too. I blushed when I thought of the inner thigh. “and telling by the blush I guess you decided on the inner thigh. Do you have a design in mind or did you want to go through the books.” I told him that I wanted to get the Norse God Loki’s symbol. He just chuckled and said it must have been a hell of an event that I wanted to remember and I just agreed with him. He lead me back into an area that was partitioned off with a chair in the center and had me sit down. He pulled up his computer and searched for a good image of the symbol and asked if that was what I wanted, I said yes and I wanted the colors to be mostly greens and aged gold. I wanted it to look as much like his armor as it could. The artist just smiled and said “let’s get started.”


	17. The Perfect Life is Not That Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING Domestic violence at the end of chapter***

My life never returned to normal after my 21st birthday. Everything seemed brighter and I took more chances than I had before. I went out with Jill and the girls more, I started dating, and Loki and I became closer but he was a little distant at times. He never asked what happened on my birthday and just said that he hoped that I had a good time. All I did was blush and smile, which made him smile.

 

CJ had started slowly coming into the office to visit Jack and at first he kept his distance from me. It didn’t help that every time he came in I would busy myself with the filing that needed to be done. It was a few months before he started trying to speak to me. It was simply enough, he would ask how I was and how my life was going. I noticed that he had grown up some, his features filled in and he had become more muscular. He was different from when we were teens and he had seemed to have changed over the years. CJ started working for Jack and I saw him everyday and when he finally brought me flowers, daisies, and apologised for how he acted all those years ago, I believed him.

 

We started dating. Loki seemed happy for me since he didn’t know what had happened with CJ. He also said that he knew this would eventually happen, he would just have to be happy with sharing me with someone else. He had smirked at that but his eyes bore in my direction. I had wished though it had been him.

 

The next couple of years went by in a pretty normal fashion. Loki and I still spent my sleeping hours together, work was going great and business was booming, and CJ had changed. He was no longer the angry person he had been, he was sweet and attentive, understanding at company parties when I spoke with other men and would be gracious and let me mingle. My Aunt was not happy about us dating but she did say it was my life and I could do whatever I wanted. She had changed a lot too. She called me weekly if we weren’t doing a job for her and she invited me over for dinner every Friday night. Those were strained in the beginning but they became much better as time went on.

 

My sex life had improved only in the sense that I was having it. CJ always insisted on having the lights low and I felt he was holding back the majority of the time. It didn’t compare to Tom or even just making out with Loki the few times it had happened. But the way I looked at it, I could not compare sex with a stripper and a God to a mere mortal. Strippers and Gods tend to not have body issues or feelings of inadequacy, at least the few that I had met hadn’t.

 

Life took an unexpected turn on my 24th birthday. CJ asked me to marry him. It was actually kind of romantic, if not a little scary at first. He took me into the swamps on his little boat and there in a glade lights were strung up in the trees, a table was laid out with a white table cloth, rose petals were strung everywhere and Jack and Jill were dressed as waiters. CJ had helped me out of the boat, sat me at the table and we enjoyed a nice dinner. We danced under the twinkling stars, he was the only person I had danced with besides Loki. It felt...off. Then he had gotten down on his knee, pulled out a simple ring and asked. CJ was excited enough for the both of us when I said yes and smiled. CJ whooped out, picked me up and spun me around.

 

Loki was not thrilled when I told him. He then said that he hoped that I still visited him. I touched his cheek at that as a tear had silently slid down onto my thumb. I told him that nothing could ever replace him and that nothing could keep me away. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. It wrenched my heart to see him like that.

 

Loki decided to help Jill and I plan my wedding, and he promised no exploding cakes. Even if we both had a good laugh at that. Jill wondered where I got all the ideas for the wedding and I just told her that they came to me in my dreams. The night before the wedding I spent with Loki, he tried his best to calm my nerves but I noticed he had a hard time staying awake. We went back to his room and I all but forced him to lay down. He fell asleep quickly, his head laying in my lap with his arms around me. Whenever I moved, his arms would tighten around me, I think subconsciously he knew he could hold me without problems. The sun started to set and I felt myself start to fade. This night was different from the rest. After getting out of his arms I kissed his cheek and whispered that I loved him. As my eyes opened to my room I could swear for the first time he said, “I love you too my Dreamer.”

 

My wedding day was hectic and rushed and by the time the ceremony was about to start I just wanted it over with. It was strange though because whenever I felt myself become too stressed I suddenly felt an extreme calm over me, the same as when Loki would stand there as I hugged him. I kept wishing he were there with me to help me through this life changing event.

 

Aunt Sophia came and got me leading me to her backyard, I could see the twinkle lights hanging from her willow tree. The yard looked so much different than it ever had before. Blue satin hung from the tables and chairs, wild flowers were placed in the center of the tables. It was beautiful. The music started and Aunt Sophia walked besides me as we made our way down the aisle. The twinkle lights caused my ice blue dress to shine, the smooth satin shifting against my body as I walked. CJ stood at the head of the runner, looking handsome in his tux. At the moment I saw him I thought I had heard a scoff right next to me.

 

The ceremony was short. I was married to CJ.

 

As Jack had said I was officially part of the family before scooping me up into a huge hug. Aunt Sophia cried during the ceremony and gave me an envelope. “I want you to open that once you two have had a chance to deflate after all of this. Now I’m going to retire and let you kids have some fun.” She hadn’t hugged me but she smiled at me in a way that she never had before, so I hugged her. She stiffened for a moment and then hugged me back, eventually clearing her throat and saying that that was enough of that then quickly went up into the house.

 

By the time the reception was over all I wanted to do was sleep, and once at the hotel that's exactly what we did. We both slept until noon the next day. We found that Aunt Sophia had signed the deed of my parents house over to me. There was no mortgage and I owned it outright. I couldn’t believe it. We moved in shortly after the wedding and we began our life together.

 

Everything was going great for about six months. I had just gotten dinner out of the oven when CJ came home. He’d been out drinking with the boys after work to celebrate Julio having a beautiful, healthy baby girl. CJ called out he was getting changed and I yelled back that I was fixing up plates so we could eat. All of a sudden I heard a crash coming from the bedroom. He hadn’t drank in a long time so I rushed in to see if he was alright. I found him kneeling on the floor in front of the closet, a shoe box in his lap, the tiara from my 21st birthday in his hand, his knuckles white as he slowly crushed the metal in his palm. In his other hand was the note from Tom. The paper almost see through with how many times i had read it over the years.

 

He turned hearing a floorboard creak under my foot. He looked up, the light from the hall making it look like fire replaced his eyes, the anger that replaced his usual casual face made me take a step back. Slowly he stood, the box spilling onto the floor, the rose from my 21st birthday broke apart as it hit the carpet. The tiara groaned inside his fist. It was like staring at the devil himself as he quickly walked towards me, my back hit the cabinets in the hall. His hand with the tiara came back and slammed across my face sending me sprawling into the hallway. I felt blood trickle down my cheek from the metal combs impact. Slowly he bent down and wrapped his hand into my hair, pulling me across the carpet into the living room. The fireplace was against the far wall and I fought against him, the tiara combs digging deeper into my scalp. I tried to hook my feet against the bathroom door jams but he just pulled harder, wrenching my ankle to where I felt a little pop.

 

Once at the fireplace he slammed the glass doors open, cracking one of the panes and sat me up, pushing me against the bricks on the side. He used one hand to build a fire while he untangled his other hand from my hair and pinned me to the bricks by the throat. He looked as if he was going to murder me. Tom’s note was placed in front to the fireplace, I would have tried to grab it if I hadn’t been busy trying to get his hand from around my neck. So I looked at the scrawling handwriting, allowing it to burn into my mind, but it was getting difficult to breath.

 

The fire whooshed to life, heat shooting out, blasting into the side of my face. “You’re gonna find this out, I don’t share. Not with anyone, even a memory.” His grip tightened around my throat, pulling me to his side. The whiskey on his breath burnt my nose, the fire still there as he glared at me. The letter was inches from my fingertips. “You’re gonna throw that letter and that ugly ass tiara into the fire. Do you hear me?” His voice was deadly in my ear, his grip loosened just enough. I grabbed the letter and tried to crawl away from him. His fist came down on my side, pain exploding in my back making me roll into a ball. Then in a frenzy he started kicking me. He connected with my legs, back, anyplace I couldn’t cover fast enough. Then he kicked me in the back of the head. The last thing I remember was him asking me why I had made him do that while he was unzipping his pants.


	18. Shatter Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING Domestic Violence in the beginning of chapter***

It was almost a year after the first incident when I finally got the courage to tell someone what had become a normal occurrence. If I did anything that he was not happy with, he would “punish me”. Nightly I was all but raped, and I knew why he had always seemed to be holding back. CJ liked inflicting pain during sex. I hadn’t told Loki what had happened and what continued to happen. That part of my life was pure, I didn’t want to mar that with the ugliness that had become my life. I could tell he knew something was wrong, he would always ask if I wanted to talk about anything, but I always came up with some excuse like bills or stress from work. He never believed me.

 

I remember how frightened I was when I decided to tell Jill what was happening. I was afraid that she wouldn’t believe me, or blame me for it in some way. I knew she had noticed my decline. I became despondent, rarely wore make up any more and barely went out with the girls. I had invited Jill to lunch, something I did whenever I needed to talk. We met at the bistro we always did and she watched me as I sat in silence. She patiently waited for me to speak, not wanting to push me. I think I destroyed three or four napkins before I finally started speaking. She never interrupted but I could see the horror pass across her face as I told her of the worst of the abuse.

 

Slowly, as if to make sure I didn’t bolt, she came around the table and hugged me. That was the first time I allowed myself to breakdown and I just sobbed into Jill’s shoulder. After what seemed like forever, a bucketful of tears and a few napkins to wipe my face, I was calm again. I was thankful when she said she would tell Jack, I didn’t feel like rehashing it all again. Jill did say that I had to tell my Aunt, and that ended up being harder than telling Jill. She took it better than I thought she would, offering to have him killed in a hushed tone. That offer had made me hopeful for the first time in a long time. So the 4 of us began planning my escape and finally that day came.

 

I had been slowly packing a suitcase that was hidden in the back of the closet so I didn’t raise suspicion. I did my best not to anger CJ, pretended that everything was perfect. I even covered the fresh bruise on my cheek so he wasn’t reminded of the previous night. I didn’t even fight him wanting to have sex, which I think was the hardest part.

 

CJ left for work and I told him I would be at the office in a bit, that I had to go to the bank for Jack first. Which of course he didn’t question, because I did it all the time. I got in the shower and looked down at my scar riddled stomach. He had liked to slice me up when I seriously displeased him. I couldn’t help but feel a buzz as time went on. Jack and Jill were going to pick me up at noon and take me to Aunt Sophia’s, she thought that that was where I would be safest, with the gates around her house being nearly impossible to climb. She also now had a live in boyfriend, who just happened to be the cop and had said he would help in anyway that he could. So I was going to go back to where it all started, it was a lot better than where I had ended up. It was 10:30 by the time I got out of the shower, pulling my hair back and putting on my old emerald green robe I finished packing.

 

As I did, I discovered how little I actually owned. Of course until CJ was good and out of my life there were going to be things about the house that I missed, but this place had never been a home. CJ had made sure of that. I went into the living room and put in my Lindsey Stirling CD and got dressed. It was 11:15 when I lugged my small suitcase out and placed it by the couch. I looked out the front window to see rain start to fall. Autumn was always a beautiful time of year in Louisiana, but I thought the rain was fitting. Like the rain was helping to wash my old life away, making room for the new one that was going to begin soon. I don’t know exactly how long I stood there, but I suddenly heard the back door slam. 

 

Turning I saw CJ standing in the doorway of the kitchen. I had previously thought that the looks he gave me were murderous, but this was much more sinister. He looked from me to my suitcase and back again. I looked at the clock over the mantle, it was 11:45. Jack and Jill weren’t going to make it in time. “So you think you can just leave me?” His voice was low and cold. Slowly he came into the room, his eyes never leaving mine. Then he rushed me, I grabbed the nearest thing I could, a lamp, and threw it at him. I then did the one thing I had never done before, I screamed as loud as I could. I thought maybe the neighbors would hear me and come help. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me across the room, my body hitting the coffee table. I scrambled over while catching my breath, trying to find some type of weapon, but he was there again. He took me by the hair and slammed my face into the bricks of the fireplace, blood gushed out of my nose. 

 

I noticed my favorite song on the album playing, “Shatter Me”, I barked out a laugh. I felt a strength come from nowhere and I stood. My vision instead of turning black as I fought off unconsciousness, turned to the golden pillars of Asgard. “CJ, you are the most pathetic excuse for a man I have ever seen. You can only feel big when you are hurting someone, well guess what, this is going to be the last time you ever hurt me.” I turned away from him and stumbled towards the front door. I saw Jack pull up and jump out of his car, running towards the house. The music quickened and I heard the sound of a fireplace poker scraping across the wrought iron stand. A sharp pain hit across my shoulder blades and I crumbled. I rolled over to see CJ towering over me, raising the poker above his head, he brought his arm down. Pain exploded in my forehead as I saw Asgard once again, then CJ. I heard pounding on the door, or was that my heart? I couldn’t tell. More pain, this time in my shoulder and I screamed out again. Asgard appeared again. Then I felt the wind of the door bursting open, Asgard gone. I saw Jack jump over my body and tackle CJ. I saw Jill rush in, kneeling next to me, her lips were moving talking into her phone, but I couldn’t hear her, all I heard was the music. I thought how apropos that CJ had shattered me. Then I saw nothing and felt like I was falling.

The sensation of falling didn’t last long, soon I felt my back slam into a hard object, the breath knocked from my lungs. I attempted to curl in on myself, but my entire body hurt, like the first time CJ had punished me. I heard people running towards me, and what sounded like armor moving at the joints. A murmur of voices finally reached me. “She just fell through the ceiling, I don’t understand.” I opened my eyes, but only one cooperated. I saw the long hall of the palace and I felt myself start to cry. I reached up and felt for Loki’s pendant, my fingers curled around the cold stone. I had literally landed in Asgard, and if I remembered my paintings correctly, right outside of the palace physicians doors and right across the hall from the library. Just then the library doors opened and Loki stood there looking at the crowd as if they had lost their minds.

 

“What is the meaning of this, it’s the middle of the night.” Everyone started talking at once and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He sighed and held up his hand, causing everyone to stop speaking. The hall was quiet, so quiet you couldn't hear the rustling of fabric. I croaked out his name. He looked down at me, his face becoming confused until I opened my hand to reveal the pendent. Shock replaced the confusion and he rushed forward, coming down on his knees next to me. His hands flitted around my body not touching me, he looked me over and his face suddenly grew dark. He leaned down, “who did this to you?” How could I answer when all I wanted to do was die. A tear fell from my swollen eye and he gently traced it's path, I tried to smile but it hurt too much. His voice became kind, “It’s alright, nothing's going to harm you now. Bren would you be kind enough to wake the doctor please. I’m going to pick you up, I will do my best to not cause anymore pain.” 

 

A guard went to the door and opened it, but a small woman was already coming out. Loki as gently as he could put his arms under me and lifted me to his chest. The cool leather pressed against my cheek, his arms were sturdy under my shoulders and knees. I groaned when his hand grasped my shoulder to steady me, “shhhh, I’ll have you down in a moment. I’m so sorry Dreamer.” I felt his cool lips touch my forehead. It was like a sleeping spell because everything went black.

I awoke laying on a stiff yet soft surface. I didn’t bother trying to open my eyes, I could still feel the swelling. There was a rustling in the room of robes as someone passed the bed. “Your highness, you need to sleep and take nourishment. You will be no good to anyone if you fall ill yourself.” I heard Loki scoff and I pictured him waving his hand at the woman who spoke, dismissing what she had said. I gently laughed, then regretted it as pain shot through my skull. I heard Loki move across the room, his hand taking mine. “How are you feeling?” The concern in his tired voice made me smile. “Like I could take on your brother. But, the nurse or doctor or whoevers here, is right, you do need your rest and how long has it been since you’ve eaten?” Gingerly he raised my hand and kissed my knuckles.

 

“You do not get to worry about me right now, you need to focus on getting better. I’ve been so worried.” I moved my hand out of his and touched his cheek, like I had done so many times. “Just promise that you will eat something.” He huffed but turned his mouth into his palm, then nodded. “I think I’m going to go back to sleep now.” I barely heard his sigh as I all but passed out again.

The next couple of days seemed to be a blur, but I healed much faster under the care of the Asgardians and having Loki there every time I woke up. He would rush to me and take my hand, or he would be asleep in the chair next to me. It didn’t take long before the I could look at him and I just watched him sleep, the dark rings under his eyes slowly getting lighter and lighter. I would pretend to sleep as he ate because as soon as he knew I was awake whatever he was doing was forgotten.

 

One morning, I awoke and he was sleeping in a chair, his head leaning against the back, one leg thrown over the arm, his arms wrapped around his body. Slowly I sat up and I discovered that I didn’t feel any pain. So tentatively I swung my legs over and got down, the floor cold against my feet, the shift they had changed me into dragging on the marble. I picked up the extra blanket from my bed and slowly walked over to the chair and draped it over him. Gently I leaned down and kissed the top of his head and turned only to stop. Freya stood in the doorway smiling at me.

 

“As good as it is to see someone willingly take care of my son, I believe that you should still be in bed.” She gracefully moved to my side and helped me back into the bed. She sat herself on the side and looked at me for a moment. “From what I have been told you are doing much better than when you arrived, you are healing much quicker than any Midgardian we have ever seen. Do you know how you got here?” I shook my head at the question and she just nodded. “Forever the mystery then. I am hoping that Hiemdell will come when you are presented to The Allfather, he finds you quite interesting, especially the influence you have had over Loki. I am just grateful that he has had a confidant all these years. So how are you feeling? Any pain?” I cleared my throat, not sure if my voice would work. “I’m not having any pain right now. How long have I been here?”

 

“Three days.” My eyes must have gotten very large because she laughed. “I am assuming that is as much of a shock to you as it is to us. Another oddity is that even though you are awake, your brain waves show as you being asleep. I believe Loki would find that fascinating if he weren’t so worried about you.” Gently she covered my hand with hers, “So what happened before you dropped out of the sky.” I couldn’t help but stare at our hands, I had to tell someone and Loki was going to eventually find out.

 

“I was leaving my abusive husband. My friends and I had planned it for nearly a month. But he came home while I was waiting for my ride and had other plans. He attacked me with a fireplace poker and then I was here.” Freya sucked in her breath and I saw her hands clench into fists. “That would definitely explain the damage.” Suddenly I saw Loki behind her clench the arm to the chair, he had heard. The leather creaked under his palm. Freya looked back at him and just shook her head. “Loki, your father would like a word with you in the throne room. I will keep her company until you get back.” He stood stiffly and walked to me, kissing my forehead this time before leaving the room.

By the end of the fourth day I was basically healed. I had full motion in my shoulder, my upper back didn’t hurt and I was able to walk on my own. I was informed by the doctor that I was to meet Odin the following morning. I was moved to a room with an actual bed, but still close to the doctor. Loki brought the chair from the other room and we spent the day playing chess and a game similar to mancala. Later Loki read to me. Exhaustion finally overtook me and I fell asleep to him reading me fairy tales. His silky voice lulling me, dragging me down. I tried to fight because I was afraid that I would wake back up in what had become my own personal hell.


	19. In the Hall of the Allfather

The next morning when I awoke Loki was nowhere to be found. A large bath was brought in and filled with hot water, salts, herbs and a white liquid that smelled like honey. The tendrils of steam had a green sheen to them and I couldn't help but smile at Loki’s gift. The women left, allowing me privacy but making it known they were right outside the door if I needed anything. The water felt wonderful lapping against my skin, feeling almost like a caress. After laying there for about 20 minutes two women walked in and curtsied.

 

“Prince Loki asked us to aid in your bath. We have brought your hair rinse and soap.” I thought they were just going to drop off the toiletries and leave. But one got on her knees and produced a cup, slowly scooping up water and wetting my hair. I turned around to say something when the other woman chuckled. “He warned us you may put up a fuss. He instructed us to spoil you this morning, you are meeting The Allfather after all. It is a great honor to be presented before him. Prince Loki wanted you to be refreshed. He also instructed us to aid you in getting into this.” She held up a large clothing box that I hadn't noticed she had been holding. I huffed and leaned forward, so maid number 1 could continue rinsing my hair.

 

If I had to be honest with myself, I had never been so relaxed after a bath in my life. It's amazing what someone else washing your hair will do to a person, I had to admit I could get used to it. After drying off, I stood in an emerald green robe that the maids provided me, made of satin with embroidery of a large snake across the back. The sleeves were large bells and it had a train that trailed three feet behind me. I hadn't noticed how embellished everything here was before.

 

The box was opened and probably the most beautiful dress I had ever seen was revealed. It had a black leather corset that laced up the back with a large gap, showing my entire spine. Three of the skirts were thick black crushed velvet, the fourth outer skirt was emerald green gauze that parted in the front, giving the dress an airy quality. The corset was fastened to my shoulder with gauze going from the right and gathering on my left shoulder. I loved it until I stood up. It was the heaviest piece of clothing I had ever had the misfortune of wearing. Imagine a quilt that you have just taken out of the washer and wrapped around your waist without drying it first. It felt a little like that. But I had to admit, Loki had good taste. 

 

I suddenly remembered the ball I went to a few years ago where all the women were dressed very similarly. I couldn't help but wonder, how the hell did they dance, when the prospect of walking seemed to be a challenge. I slowly turned to see Loki leaning against the door jam, smiling that mischievous smile of his. He pushed off and closed the distance between us in three strides, gently taking my face in his hands. His lips touched mine, instantly sending heat through my body. It was a gentle kiss, but all his worry and happiness came pouring out of him. The maids cleared their throats and giggled.

 

Loki broke the kiss, grazing my lower lip with his thumb, “You look absolutely stunning. Do you like it?” He took a step back and raked his eyes down my body. I bent down and gathered the full skirts up taking two steps to his one, then dropped the heavy skirts again. Loki pouted a little. “You don't like it.” I flung my arms out. “It's not that I don't like it. We don't dress like this on Earth, I can barely walk, and walking is kind of a prerequisite in this situation. I'm meeting you father.” He looked down at me, his fingers tracing his upper lip in thought, then a wicked smile spread across his lips. “I have just the thing.”

 

Loki leaned down in front of me, his hands snaking under the skirts and gently grabbing my ankles. He looked up at me his hands slowly moving up over the boots he gave me. The skirts started to melt away the higher his hands went. His palms tracing up my legs causing heat to pool in the pit of my stomach. An old familiar ache coming to life. He slowed more as he got to my thighs, his eyes slightly closing and a low hum came from his throat. His hands came to rest on my hips, his chest flush with mine. “Is that better?”, his voice husky. I shook myself and noticed that about 30 pounds had disappeared from the dress. I let out my breath slowly and looked down. The outer emerald skirt had remained, but in the place of the skirts were black skin tight riding pants.

 

Loki backed up and gave an appreciative sigh. “I think I like this much better. I can see those long legs of yours. Besides you can walk now.” I looked up at him, my whole body humming from his little pat down. “That's all about perspective Loki.” He chuckled at my statement. I heard a giggle come from the corner of the room and remembered that the maids were still there. I could feel myself blush and that made Loki laugh even harder.

 

“As much fun as this is, I am expected to be in line to greet the court this morning. You have created a bit of a stir around here and people are wishing to see you. Someone will be here soon to escort you to the throne room. I wish it could be me.” So did I. I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped his around me. We held each other for a moment before he kissed the top of my head and stepped back. “See you soon.” He turned and left the room. The maids finished cleaning up from my bath and left shortly after that. I walked over and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair had been braided and then put into a bun, the pins holding it in place had Loki’s symbol in the top made of pure emerald. It seemed like all the things he wanted to do for me over the years he was doing. He had been presented the perfect opportunity. I felt the stiff leather of the corset, it complimented the silky gauze perfectly. Then there were the pants. They were so soft I couldn't help but run my hands over my thighs. Someone cleared their throat behind me.

 

I turned to see a large man wearing golden armor from head to toe, his eyes were the same color. He had a large sword strapped to his back and he was smiling slightly. “I am Hiemdell, the Gatekeeper of Asgard. Prince Loki asked me to escort you to The Allfather in his absence. And I would recommend not rubbing your legs like that in front of him.” He chuckled. I looked down and realized I was subconsciously rubbing my legs. I stopped and stepped towards him. “I’m Astrid, also known as Dreamer. Please to meet you, I heard that you've on occasion grounded Loki from the bifrost. I'd like to hear the stories some day.” He held his arm out to me smiling down at me and I wrapped my hand around his forearm. “Maybe I will. Are you ready Lady Astrid?” I let out a deep breath, “as ready as I’m ever going to be.”

 

We didn't speak as we made our way through the palace halls. Thankfully I knew these halls like the back of my hand, so Hiemdell didn't have to steer me. The golden doors of the throne room loomed ahead, shut in anticipation for our arrival. I took a steadying breath and Hiemdell gently pat my hand. He knocked with his fist on the door and slowly they swung into the room. Gradually I saw people lining the walls, in bleacher like seating, when Freya said presented she meant presented. At the end of the long golden carpet in the center of the room sat Freya and Odin. Thor stood at his father's side and Loki stood at his mother's. They seemed a perfect picture, but of course I knew it was not all fun and games with that family. Loki was smiling at me.

 

“This is where I must leave you, this path is yours to walk alone. But it won't always be so.” Hiemdell let go of my arm and walked into the crowd. I mentally shook myself and stood a little straighter then started walking towards the Royal Family. People murmured around me once they could see me. I kept looking forward, I didn't need to see everyone, being nervous as I was. Thankfully I made it to the thrones without tripping over my own feet in the thick soled boots I was wearing. Also thankfully I had been to court enough times to know to curtsey and bow my head when I stopped. A hush came over the room.

 

“So Loki was right, you do know the ways of our people. Good. Please stand. I have heard that  position is not comfortable for long.” Odin’s voice seemed to echo throughout the room so every corner of the hall could hear him. I stood and looked at Loki then him. Loki was smiling. Odin didn't speak for a minute and I fought the urge to fidget, keeping my hands at my side and looking into his eyes. Well I should say eye. That eye seemed to see so much though, it bore into me.

 

“So you are Loki’s Dreamer, the one who has been keeping him out of trouble, for the most part, all these years. Do you have a name Madame?” I quietly cleared my throat, “My name is Astrid your Majesty.” He tilted his head to the side a little. “How long have you been wondering our halls Lady Astrid?” I blinked at him but answered, “twelve almost thirteen years your Majesty.” It seemed that he was questioning me in a way to ensure that I was who I said I was. He asked me other random things like what did Loki and I do while I was there, and when Loki wasn’t able to be with me what did I do. I told him everything, he seemed a bit shocked when I told him that Loki had taught me to speak, read, and write Asgardians. “How long did it take you to learn our language?” I smiled because he asked in Asgardian. “Roughly 2 years,” I answered back in his own language. 

 

The rest of the questioning continued in Asgardian, I became more relaxed. Loki smiled while gripping the back of his mother's chair, he was just as antsy as myself. “I will not ask what happened before you fell through the palace ceiling, as Freya has already advised me of what you told her. But I have one last question for you before I ask Hiemdell to come forward. If you are convinced all of this is just an elaborate dream that your mind made up to help you cope with your life, why do you seem so content with being here.” I looked to Loki and smiled, my eyes never leaving his as I answered, “Because even if this is just a dream, it’s been the best adventure of my life. And if this turned out to be real I would be the luckiest person on the planet, because I have gotten to experience love. I’m not a materialistic person, these memories or dreams that I have mean more to me than anything else.” Loki looked down for a moment, but when he looked up, his head slightly tilted, his eyes raising slowly, the shy smile that played across his lips, I knew it was true. I was the luckiest person anywhere.

 

“Hiemdell can you please come forward.” Odin’s scepter slammed into the floor making Loki and I look towards the crowd. People started to move out of the way as the Gatekeepers helm came into view. He made his way gracefully across the floor and stood next to me, bowing deeply then straightening, not waiting for Odin to bid him to. He glanced down at me winking before giving The Allfather his attention. “Your Majesty, how can I be of service.” Odin stood and paced slowly, “Have you been aware of Lady Astrid all these years?” Hiemdell chuckled, “yes I have been aware of her, and all those like her whenever they visit.” I looked up at him, there had been others?

 

“Lady Astrid has an interesting ability due to her bloodlines. Somewhere in her lineage there is Asgardian blood. That blood, depending on how strong it is, allows her to visit Asgard in her sleeping hours. Lady Astrid is the first that I have seen or heard of that has consistently come on a nightly basis. I am unsure if it is because she was so young when she visited the first time or the link that formed quite quickly between herself and Loki that has caused her to be drawn here. The others that have visited I have barely been able to detect, coming for a night every once in awhile.” I listened intently as he spoke, Loki even took a step forward as Hiemdell explained it all. “The reason that Lady Astrid is with us now is because she is in what the Midgardians call a coma, it is similar to the Allsleep. She is alive but in a constant sleep. Technically she is not really here, but she was injured badly enough that her subconscious took her to the one place that she felt safe.” 

 

Hiemdell took his sword from his back and placed the tip on the marble floor, a light shone from the hilt as an image projected in front of me. There I was lying in a hospital bed, my face still swollen, my shoulder in a soft cast, tubes coming out of my mouth. Jill sat next to me, crying as she spoke to my unconscious body. The crowd gasped, murmurs cascading through the great hall. I took a step forward, reaching my hand out. The moment I touched my image it disappeared.

 

“The Midgardian doctors are sure that she will eventually awaken. They say she has good brain function, healing much faster than normal. Her injuries should have killed her. The tubes are for feeding and her makeshift family has not left her side. Because she is there, she is not really here, anything that happens to her will not truly affect her.” I couldn't help but wrap my arms around my waist. CJ had put me in a coma, and I realized that if Jack hadn't burst through the door when he did, I could have died. I felt myself tear up, but pushed them back. I couldn't let him win. I straightened myself again, holding my head higher. Loki seemed like he wanted to rush to me, but something was holding him back. He let out a frustrated growl that had Freya turning with a look that only a mother could give. He backed off at the glare and went back to his place at her side. The muscles in his jaw worked. I smiled at him and he seemed to calm. Freya just looked at me with what I could only describe as awe.

 

“Your Majesty, if I may come forward?” A powerful female voice spoke over the din of the court. I recognized it as the Lady Siff. Odin waved her forward and she walked towards us, wearing her warrior's garb. She bowed to the Royal family, but I watched her send a look towards Loki that I didn't like.

 

“What do you have to say Lady Siff?” Odin’s voice sounded as if he were speaking to a beloved daughter. She looked at me and smirked. “I propose a test. It is not that I do not believe Hiemdell, he has not been known to lie, but how does he know that she is untouchable here. How does he not know she is a threat. For all we know this is some magic that Prince Loki has put together to fool the entire court, like he is want to do from time to time.” Odin looked at his son and then back at me. He smirked, I could not tell if he was entertaining the idea that Loki would do this or that Siff was seriously wrong.

 

“How exactly do you propose we test this? I am sure that Lady Astrid will not stand by as you attempt to harm her. If what she says is true on the events before she arrived.” Siff’s eyes went from me to Loki. She smiled at him sweetly. “I propose a fair fight. She made mention that Loki trained her to use weapons, why not test that? I must admit that the last 5 days have been very quiet around the palace. Maybe she is the reason, maybe she can tame the beast, so to speak. But that does not mean that they did not do this on purpose.” The off handed insult was not lost on me. My hands involuntarily clenched at my sides. I had never in my life wanted to punch someone before. I felt the need rise in me as I looked at Loki. His eyes were wide as he looked at Siff, he slowly shook his head and again tried to take a step forward.

 

Odin had been watching him closely and then he looked at me. “Lady Astrid, what say you? Are you willing to fight for Loki’s honor and your own. Lady Siff believes that you both have conspired against the throne.” Freya put her hand onto Loki’s arm as she looked at her husband, disbelief apparent on her face. He didn't look at her, but kept his eye on me as I looked at Loki.

 

“If fighting Siff is the only way for you all to see what I see in Loki than so be it.” Odin’s staff slammed into the floor once more, the court stood and started moving out of their chairs. As they were emptied, servants came and took them away, making more room in the center of the hall. Freya stood and leaned into Loki’s ear, then he was moving towards Siff and I. Siff turned to move away when his hand came around her upper arm, spinning her around. “What exactly are you trying to prove here Siff?” Siff pulled her arm out of his grasp. “I am not trying to prove anything. I am doing this because you do not deserve happiness. You who are always scheming, you who are always cruel. You do not deserve any sort of beauty in your life because of the way you treat those around you. Besides, she does not belong here and I intend on sending her back from where she came from.” She turned and walked over to her friends. I watched her leave as I reached for Loki.

 

“I’ll be fine Loki, you taught me everything I know.” He looked down at me, his face fallen. “I may have taught you, but you were fighting someone who could not see or touch you. Siff is an excellent fighter. What if she's right and she sends you back, or worse kills you?” I rested my head on his chest, wrapping one arm around him. “Then I would die knowing that I got to see you one last time, get to be held by you, if only for a moment. But honestly if what Hiemdell says is true I think I won't be leaving until I wake up.” I placed my hand on his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. A few of the court started whispering among themselves, was this that strange. Breaking the kiss Loki rested his forehead against mine. “This is a gift from my mother.” He held out a dagger to me. “And this is from me.” He reached under one of his sleeves and pulled out one of his daggers. “She uses a sword, so make sure you keep your distance until you have an opening.”

 

A large bell tolled through the hall and Freya walked over to us. “You cannot fight in that, here.” She moved her hands over my dress and the outer skirt was removed to be replaced with a knee length panel. In the center was Loki’s symbol. The riding pants had been replaced with black leathers, the corset changed slightly to now have armor on the shoulders. “I think that's a little more fitting to avenge my son’s honor in.” She smiled and rested her hand on my shoulder. She turned and went back to her throne, glaring at Odin as she did. 

 

Odin slammed his scepter to the floor again. “Loki you must leave the ring.” I looked around and saw that the court was now surrounding us. Siff stood with her friends, I noticed Fandral hung back, not looking that happy. Thor had stayed by Odin's side and had a worried look on his face. Loki kissed my forehead one last time and then slowly walked back to his mother's throne. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she placed her hand on top of his. She smiled at me, I think to reassure me, but as I looked back at Siff, I didn't feel reassured.


	20. Defending His Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everybody! I would like to give a shout out to my friend Zara who helped me with this chapter. I don't know that much about swordsmanship so she helped with that a lot. She also helped a bit with the angst. Enjoy.

The entire hall buzzed with excitement, I could hear people placing bets off in the corner. Most were calling for Siff to win quickly, but what they didn't know is that here, in Asgard, I saw myself as a fighter. My normal life was just my normal life, nothing spectacular. But here I was something special, had always seen myself that way. I felt the weight of the daggers in my hands, balanced them in my palms, spinning them around. Loki’s slightly heavier blade I would use in my right hand. He taught me to always use your predominate side to your advantage. Freya’s lighter blade had a small hand guard, which would prove useful for blocking since I didn't have a shield like Siff did.

 

We walked towards each other and bowed. Siff put her hand over her heart then said, “Lady Astrid, I want you to know that this is nothing personal against you.” I smirked at her, “We’ll just have to disagree on that.” She scowled at me as we stepped away from each other. She used her shield on her left and her sword on her right. I stood straight, she hunkered down a little and we began to circle each other. I looked right into her eyes as she scanned me, looking for the best plan of attack. I had laid myself open for her, actually, it would be easier for me to move like this. Finally she faked a swing at my legs then pivoted into an arch to slice her blade across my stomach. I moved easily out of her way, arching my body around the blade. I could hear the slicing of the sword through the air. The crowd erupted at the maneuver so she struck again, this time slicing down from breast to hip. If I hadn't jumped back she could have split me wide open. I kept moving, she took a step back and regained her footing. I could tell she was beginning to get angry, something Loki had taught me was a weakness in battle. Somehow, I kept my cool, maybe because he was standing only a few feet away and he looked… proud. She gritted her teeth and with a two hand hold swung down toward my head. I quickly raised my left hand barely catching her sword on the hand guard of the smaller dagger. My elbow smashed into her nose, I heard a loud crunching sound as her head jerked back. Her sword slipped to the side and back to the ground. 

 

A gasp went through the crowd around us. She threw her shield down and took her sword apart. “Well shit”, I thought to myself. She didn't have a shield any longer, “yay me”, but now she had two blades. She wiped the blood from her nose with the back of her hand and came at me with a vengeance. She was thrusting and slicing almost manically. Somehow every time she swung at me I was able to block. Everything that Loki taught me came back in a rush of adrenaline. To put it mildly, Shit just got real. With each swing and thrust she was looking for her next opening to attack. She did not make the mistake of getting close. I was able to get a few kicks in to her legs, but she recovered too quickly for me to end it. 

 

Siff finally got close and delivered a powerful punch to my kidney, the sword in her hand making it hurt all the more. While I tried to recover she found the opening she had been waiting for. I was already arched back from the pain in my kidney. Showing no sign of mercy she sliced into my upper arm, a scream escaped me. But she wasn’t looking to wound me, no, she went straight for the kill. She raised her sword and stabbed me straight through the heart. The blade slid in like a hot knife in butter, I barely felt it. Until she pulled it back out. Then the burn began, spreading warmth down my chest and stomach.

 

The crowd grew silent as I heard the most agonizing yell of “No!” echo through the hall. Freya's dagger slipped from my hand and I grabbed Siff’s shoulder. Her eyes widened at what must have been the look on my face, it wasn’t shock because I had never expected to win, but determination perhaps. I could feel my knees start to buckle, I was getting so tired. So I did the only thing that I could think of, I used the last of my strength to lift my hand that still held Loki’s dagger and I stabbed her in the upper thigh, then twisted. I knew she would scar, and I wanted that reminder. I wanted to leave behind a mark, a last little “fuck you” to her for killing me and making him watch. She staggered back from me, her hand going around the hilt of Loki’s dagger. I fell to my knees, then felt strong arms go around me. I looked into Loki’s shocked face. Thor was standing behind him. Loki gently knelt down, pulling me into his lap. I realized the warmth that was still spreading across my lower body was my blood because now he was covered in it as well.

 

Loki pulled me close to him, I could smell the leather and suede of his clothes. He then did something he had never done before with me, he lied. He smoothed the hair from my face as he rocked me and he said, “You’re fine. You’re going to be fine. Everything is going to be okay.” 

 

I pulled my head back to look at him and saw tears pouring down his perfect face. In that moment I hated Siff for making him suffer. I smiled up at him. Reaching up I touched his face. My words barely a whisper, “I’m sorry...I”. I felt the moment my heart stopped. Suddenly, everything went black.


	21. Relief

Have you ever experienced floating in warm water? Like the lake that my parents took me to when I was a child, the water felt like bath water and you could just float in it for hours. That was the sensation I was feeling. There was complete darkness and I was weightlessly floating. In the distance I heard muffled voices and an intermittent beep. The beep kept getting increasingly louder the longer I floated in the nothingness. The voices slowly started to become a little clearer, still I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I thought that one of the voices sounded like Jill, but I couldn’t be sure. I don’t know how long I floated there but the voices stopped coming closer. I did pick up a few words that seemed to be said with urgency like, “should be dead” and “amazingly fast”. I had no idea what they meant though.

 

Slowly a tingling started to spread through my body, taking the warmth away. The sounds started to change from the soft cadence of voices to the din of a crowd. Suddenly the comfort I felt in floating was replaced with a feeling of being catapulted forward. In front of me I saw a golden light getting closer, the sound of the crowd getting louder. I was engulfed in the light and I wrapped into myself, not knowing what was happening.

 

I was suddenly surrounded by people yelling over each other. I opened my eyes and saw Freya looking down at me. She smiled and sighed, reaching down to help me up, “Welcome back.” I could barely hear her over the sound of Thor yelling, “Brother what is done is done. It was a fair fight!” I looked towards his voice and saw him and Fandral straining to keep Loki away from Siff, who was slowly backing away with the help of Volstagg and Hogan. Fandral glanced over at me and Freya and smiled when he saw me moving to stand. He grabbed Loki’s jaw and twisted it towards me. The fight went out of him instantly and he crumbled to his knees. It was only then that I realized how bad it must have been. His whole front was covered in blood, soaked into the suede and slick down the leather. I must not have been “dead” for long because it looked as if my blood was still dripping off of his coat.

 

I looked down at my chest and the wound was gone, I didn’t even have a scar. At my feet was a large pool of blood, slowly I stepped out of it then ran to Loki. He was looking at his hands as they trembled, he opened and closed them a few times. I grabbed his face and lifted his eyes to mine and smiled. “I’m fine, just like you said I would be.” He weakly smiled. 

 

“I think that that is enough excitement for today. Why not take Astrid back to your chambers.” Freya said loudly enough for everyone to hear. I glanced up and saw that she was not looking at us, but at Odin. I glanced his way just in time to see him look down. I stood and Fandral helped Loki to his feet, giving him a reassuring pat on the back. Loki winced at the contact. I had seen this look about Loki only once and it was on my 16th birthday. He was getting ready to explode and trying to calm himself. Putting my arm around his waist I started moving him towards the doors as they opened by themselves. Fandral walked on the other side of him, where he would have to pass Siff. Volstagg stood in front of her as Hogan removed the dagger from her leg.

 

Loki stopped and glanced at her, “If you ever come near me or mine again I cannot be held responsible for what happens to you. Whatever petty grievance you had with me from our childhood is over.” He looked her in the eyes now, “Do you understand me?” Siff looked scared for the first time ever. Her eyes were wide and she instinctively shrunk back a little. The sound of his voice was that menacing. She simply nodded and Loki started moving forward once more.

 

The three of us made our way through the palace, servants stopped and gapped at us as we walked past. We were covered in blood after all. Fandral stopped at the end of the hall that led to Loki’s chamber and touched his shoulder making him turn. “I am glad that you both are alright, and I want you to know that you do deserve happiness.” He smiled then and gently punched his arm, “You are much more agreeable this way, even with the murderous look to your eyes.” He laughed as he turned and headed back to the throne room. I didn’t even want to know the chaos that was happening at that moment. 

 

Loki’s room was quiet and dark, the fireplace the only light. The drapes closed not allowing any sun in. The old smells that I remembered so well more defined now, maybe because I had a body, who knew. Loki was just as quiet as he stood in the center of the room. I put my arms around him and felt his cheek rest on the top of my head. He sighed. “I hate to ask this of you because I don’t want you out of my sight ever again, but could you please go bathe while I gain control of myself? The longer you are covered in your own blood the longer I find myself wanting to rip out Siff’s unfeeling heart.” I looked up into his eyes and could tell that he hadn’t calmed down at all, he was just keeping the explosion at bay. I nodded and then went to his bathroom, closing the door behind me. As soon as the door clicked I heard the sound of books being knocked over and a glass shattering on a shelf.

 

I showered quickly, hearing three more rounds of shattering glass. I didn’t know what I was going to see on the other side of the door once I opened it. I put on the robe that I had been wearing earlier and grabbed the knob. I hadn’t heard any noise in a few minutes so I knocked. “It’s safe to come out.” Loki’s muffled voice called out. He smiled at me as I peeked around the door. His coat was gone and he was cleaning up the broken glass and was almost done. I started lining the books back up from where they had fallen as he dumped the last of the glass into the fireplace. The flames started changing all different colors as the chemicals burnt.

 

“Do you mind if I still call you Dreamer?” Loki’s question made me smile, his matter Of fact tone was back. “Of course you can. That’s what I’ve been for so long. I think it would be a little strange hearing you call me anything else.” He walked to me and was about to put his arms around me when he suddenly stopped and looked down at himself. He huffed, annoyed with himself, “I should probably get cleaned up too. Go get comfortable, food should be arriving shortly.”

 

I went back to the shelf I had been straightening when suddenly all the books around the room righted themselves, some flying across the room to where they had been before. I glanced at Loki and he just shook his head. “Please go relax, you have had a trying day. I know I have.” He looked tired to me so I made my way to sit in his chair next to the fireplace. He only moved once I was curled up, keeping the door to the bathroom slightly ajar. Once the water started I looked around and noticed that there was no glass left in the room. Then I heard a soft knock on the door.

 

Walking over I glanced back to make sure the bathroom door was closed enough so no one could see Loki. When I opened it I was greeted by a very small man carrying a very large platter that seemed to be to heavy for him. He smiled up at me, “Where would you like me to place this Madame?” He inched forward slightly under the weight. I grabbed the edge of the platter and started moving into the room. “Let’s put it on the table shall we?” The small man nodded and grunted forward. I helped as best as he would allow me, but the table proved to be to tall for him and we placed it in the center of the table together. 

“Thank you Madame. And I must say that the rumors are true, you are quite lovely.” The man blushed and ducked his head. “Thank you.” That was all I could think to say, I wasn’t really used to compliments, and felt myself blush along with him. “Is there anything else that you or Prince Loki will require?” I looked back at the piled food and pitcher of mead. “No I think that will about do it. Thank you.” The little man bowed and quickly left the room, stealing a final glance before closing the door.

 

“You are going to get that a lot I’m afraid. Dieing, disappearing and then reappearing will make you an instant celebrity around here.” Loki was leaning in the doorway of the bathroom, his hair still wet and slightly curling, and only wearing a fresh pair of leather pants, his arms crossed over his chest. “What do you mean disappeared?” He rushed towards me, his arms going around me pulling me into a crushing hug. “That’s why I lost control. Once your heart stopped your body blinked out of existence. I had no idea what happened to you, for all I knew you were actually dead and Heimdell had been wrong and you were never coming back. I thought I would never even feel your presence again, it was like I died right along with you.” I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his cheek laying on the top of my head, his strong arms wrapped around me. I held him just as tightly, not wanting to let go. He sighed and loosened his grip a little, one hand moving into my hair, gently twirling a finger in one of my curls.

 

“Where did you go?” I looked up at him, his face grave as he waited for me to answer. “I don’t know. It was warm and I was surrounded by darkness. I could see but everything was black.” Loki raised his head and nodded then ran a knuckle down my cheek. “It was bad enough seeing the state you were in when you landed in that hallway, but today I was terrified and I have never felt that way before.” Loki’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I wanted Siff to die for taking you from me, even though I knew you would not approve. Even though I knew I would probably never have seen the sun again, because I thought my sun had been stolen from me.” 

 

Slowly Loki traced his finger down my throat and opened his palm over my heart. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. I closed my own eyes in response, my hands gripped into his sides. I inhaled, his sandalwood soap filling my head. His hand that was on my hip seemed to twitch and he gripped me a little tighter. His palm over my heart slowly moved up my chest, his thumb brushing against the center of my throat. He moved his head forward, his cheek grazing mine. His thumb came up under my jaw, slowly raising my head higher. I don’t know why but my breathing came a little faster as I felt his lips brush against my cheek, I could feel his breath, heating my skin. His lips were now barely over mine, only a breath away. My fingers dug into his side's, the anticipation of what could happen clearly there.

 

A booming knock came to the door. Loki tilted his head back, looking at the ceiling, “Why could I not be an only child. If I don’t get that he won’t go away.” He looked down at me with an intensity I never really had turned towards me before, it shot straight through me, warming me. He turned and opened the door, leaning on the frame as he stared at Thor. “How can I help you brother?” I could tell he was trying to not sound annoyed. Thor peeked around the door and saw me, and he waved. “I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything you or Lady Astrid needed.” I smiled and waved back, but my attention kept falling to Loki’s shirtless back and low slung leather pants. And a familiar looking tattoo on his bicep. He smiled as he answered, “no I think we will be fine for now, don’t you agree darling?” He turned as I wasn’t exactly looking at his face and he smiled. I blushed at being caught checking him out. “No I think we are fine.” He smiled even wider. “Thor I appreciate you coming and checking on us, but after the excitement of the morning we just want to relax. How about you come by later and we can chat then.” Thor nodded his approval and shortly left. 

 

Loki watched as Thor rounded the corner and then closed the door. He leaned on it for a moment before turning to me. He was quickly before me and taking my cheeks in his palms. There was no hesitation now, he kissed me. No coaxing, no anticipation. My head buzzed as his tongue traced across mine. My hands skimmed up his smooth chest, my fingers wrapping into his silky hair, my body leaning into him. Not breaking the kiss he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me to him, slowly moving to the bed. My legs hit the mattress and he sat me down, slowly laying me back. His hands seemed to be everywhere, touching me through the satin of the robe. His fingers came to the tie holding it closed and he slowly started to pull the tie apart.

 

I froze, my eyes going wide and my hand going over his stopping him. He broke the kiss and looked down at me questioningly. I didn’t know how to say it. CJ hadn’t just emotionally scarred me, but physically too. Loki came up onto the mattress and laid next to me, his hand still on the tie. “What’s wrong?” His voice could be so gentle when he wanted it to be, tears formed in eyes. “My scars, I’m…” I couldn’t finish, I couldn’t say that I was afraid he’d find me ugly, afraid that he wouldn’t want me. His hand left the tie and onto me cheek, gently turning my head to face him. “I don’t care about them. They are from a different life, not with me. There is nothing in this world that would make me not want you. I’ve loved you for years, before I knew what you looked like, so the physical is just a bonus.” He smiled and rubbed his nose against mine. I wiped the tears away and sat up, pulling myself to the center of the mattress. My fingers wrapped around the tie of the robe, he laid on his side watching, his only movement was his fingers slowly circling around the fur blanket, waiting patiently.

 

I took a deep breath, because I wanted this so badly, wanted him. Quickly I pulled the tie and it was done. Exhaling I closed my eyes. I felt Loki’s fingers graze my ankle going up to my calf. “If you want I can take it from here, just lie back and enjoy yourself.” I was torn, but I thought I had been brave enough for one day, maybe it was time to let him be brave for the both of us. So slowly I laid down, I felt the mattress dip as Loki came closer. I opened my eyes and saw him kneeling over me, one arm propping himself up as the other reached for the side of the robe. Using only his fingers he slowly pulled one side of the robe apart, the first scar appeared, right over my nipple. He leaned down and gently kissed it then took my nipple into his mouth, his tongue curling around it. He switched arms and pulled the robe away from my other breast, gently cupping and kneading me, my nipple caught between his thumb and index finger. I moaned, my hands fisting the fur under me. He unlatched from me and slowly moved to my other nipple, taking it into his mouth. He traced his hands down my body opening the robe the rest of the way, his flesh grazing mine as he breathed.

 

Loki gave a final lick and sat up onto his knees and looked me over. I watched his face as he scanned over my body, taking in each scar. “You truly are beautiful.” He leaned forward and began licking and kissing each scar, his tongue velvety against my skin, leaving trails of heat in its wake. Lower and lower he went, his hands caressing me, making me writhe. I stopped caring about the scars and focused on just him. His tongue grazed my hip and my legs rubbed together, he chuckled. “How about we take the rest of that robe away?” He knelt on the bed again pulling me up to sit, slowly pushing the robe down my arms, his fingers barely touching me allowing the satin to caress me as it slipped off. It pooled at my back. His arm went around my waist and pulled me to his chest, the contact made him close his eyes for a moment. When he opened them his pupils were dilated, the green barely visible. He pulled the robe out from under me and threw it across the room, placing me back onto the soft fur, keeping contact with our bodies as he laid me down again.

 

“Spread your legs for me.” Loki whispered in my ear, his hand moving down my thigh, guiding me. He broke the contact with our bodies and slowly made his way down, his hair tickling me as he made his way off of the bed. I looked up as he started to unfasten his leathers, his eyes feasting upon my flesh, he suddenly smiled. He pushed his pants down and stepped out of them. “What is this?” He teasingly asked as he ran a hand up my inner thigh, resting on the tattoo I had. He slowly traced his fingers around the symbol, slowly moving with the curves of the snakes. My legs instinctively spread wider. “Oh I like this,” he said before passionately kissing the tattoo. He kissed the rest of the way up my thigh and with no warning licked up my slit, grazing my clit. My breath hitched and my hips bucked. His arm snaked around to my stomach, holding me still. He licked again, my head went back as I strained, trying to get more contact. Slowly his tongue moved in circles around my clit, then over it. Over and over again. Finally I felt his tongue enter me slightly and I moaned, trying to push into him again. 

 

The mattress shifted as Loki started coming up the bed, a finger slowly entering me, his thumb rubbing my clit. He kissed and licked and nuzzled up my body, all while keeping a slow rhythm with his hand, my hips raising to match him. Heat started to build as he pressed a little harder on my clit. He took a nipple in his mouth again sucking gently, my breathing came harder. He teased me with his slow pace, my hands went into his hair, holding on for dear life it felt like. The heat rose higher and higher. He kissed the rest of the way up and kissed me. I was almost frenzied as he withdrew his finger. He broke the kiss and shifted a little, his lips out of reach now. I felt the head of his cock graze me and I moved my hips forward, the head moving into place. He grabbed my hip and slowly started moving into me. It was slow, inch by inch he stretched into me. He pulled out almost all the way then thrust all the way to his hilt. I came then, him thrusting into me with each wave. It was the most intense orgasm that I had ever experienced.

 

Still holding onto my hip Loki rolled us over. He went deeper as I straddled him. I leaned up, my hands on his chest, slowly I rolled my hips. It was his turn to moan, his grip tightened on my hips, his eyes closing briefly. I reared back almost all the way then quickly pushed back down onto him. His hands moved from my hips to my breasts squeezing them with each movement I made. We fell into a slow rhythm, his hips raising to meet mine. I could feel that sweet sensation start to build again. I moved a little faster, he bit his bottom lip then suddenly sat up. His legs going Indian style under me, forcing my legs wider. His arms wrapped around my back, one grabbing my ass, pushing me further onto his cock. He took a nipple into his mouth, my hands went into his hair. I closed my eyes as Loki took over, slamming my body onto his faster and faster. I came again shouting his name, he came right after, groaning into my breast.

 

We fell back, me laying on his chest, his cock still inside of me. We stayed there, just like that and fell asleep. We both needed it.


	22. A Frw Days Peace

I woke to Loki lazily thrusting into me, gently rubbing my back, stopping at each scar and giving extra care to each one. He nuzzled my neck, nipping and kissing me. I moaned softly and kissed his collarbone. “How did you sleep?” He asked, a strain in his voice. I slowly ran my foot against his calf, opening my legs and he went deeper, making his breath hitch. “Good. How long have you been awake?” He laughed softly and breathlessly said, “awhile.” I gently played with his hair as he kept the lazy rhythm going. I started matching his thrusts, allowing for more friction. He moaned and gently grabbed onto my hips, pushing me down further onto him. I brought my knees up, his cock going deeper. A few more thrusts and then he was rolling us over, pinning me to the mattress, my arms above my head. He brought his knees up under my thighs, spreading me wider. His hands clasped into mine, he slowly thrust into me. He felt so good, stretching into me over and over again. The feeling of his hands slowly sliding down my arms to cover my breasts was like heaven. He sat up, keeping the pace easy, allowing us to both wake up fully. 

 

Loki grabbed my leg and started to speed up his thrusts. I held onto the side of the bed, feeling another orgasm start to build. His hips rolled in the most miraculous way, hitting every spot inside of me, heightening the pleasure for both of us. With a final roll I slipped over edge calling out his name. He growled at that and then sped up, not lasting much longer. When he came his head fell back, his back slightly arching. Slowly he pulled out and  lay next to me.

 

Loki rolled over onto his back, breathing hard. He turned to look at me as I looked at the ceiling, smiling. “I could really get accustomed to waking with you every morning.” I rolled over onto my side and again saw the tattoo on his bicep. It was his symbol. I started tracing it with my finger. “I could get used to this too. How long have you had this?” He glanced down at my fingers. “Since the day I was named. All of the royal family have one. On your world Royalty usually wears a symbol distinguishing them, here we are branded, so to speak, when we are named. It aids in identification if we are injured or kidnapped or killed. Also it keeps impostures from saying they are us when they are not. If you were my wife you would have one on our wedding day. But you already do.” He smiled as he mentioned my tattoo. “How about we get cleaned up and eat. I don’t know about you but I’m famished,” he said while holding his hand out to me. I placed mine in his and he helped pulled me to my feet.

 

I would have to admit that that was probably the dirtiest bath I had ever had. Loki just could not keep his hands off of me. I also have to admit that I enjoyed every minute of it. And if I was being honest with myself, I never wanted to wake up. I didn’t want to go back to my old life, I didn’t think that I could. After the bath I put my robe back on and Loki put on his own. He was very sexy in the black satin, it was different than the leather and suede that I was used to.

 

We sat in the middle of the bed with the platter in between us and we ate and talked. Loki seemed a lot more animated than I had ever seen him, telling me of all the things that he wanted to do with me. To hear him speak I was never going to leave, at least I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want me to go anywhere. Then the conversation took a turn that I had hoped that it wouldn’t, he asked me how the abuse had started. I knew that this would eventually come up and he would want to know.

 

I leaned back on my arm and played with the fur on the bed. “It started with him finding a few keepsakes from my 21st birthday. He found a tiara and a letter.” I glanced up and noticed Loki looking at me strangely. “You kept the letter?” I tilted my head at him. “I never told you about the letter.” He blushed and his eyes got a little wider, he smiled as he ran a hand nervously through his hair, “Well, I guess I have a confession to make then. I am Tom. I couldn’t resist knowing what you looked like. I followed your friend Jill and found out what she was doing for you and got a job, it was rather easy actually. But I had also had every intention in courting you properly, but unfortunately Father did become ill and Thor was away at the time. Because the rightful heir wasn’t here I had to come back to take care of things.” His voice dropped in volume as he spoke. 

 

Then everything clicked together and I sat up. “Of course my mind would do this to me. My mind would put you in Tom’s place to...to….I don’t know what. But of course the single time in my real life I did something out of character, my mind would put you there.” I think I might have gotten a little hysterical sounding because Loki just put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. “I was also at your wedding, but I was shielded. I wanted to give you a proper send off. If I had known what was going to eventually happen I would have stopped it anyway I could have. You didn’t seem too enthused.”

 

I laughed a very sarcastic, very Loki laugh. “That’s the understatement of the year. He wasn’t you and I settled for someone that wasn’t a figment of my imagination.” I got up and started pacing the floor. Loki moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest. “How can you still believe that none of this is real? How can you still not believe that I am here with you now?” I stopped at that, because that was exactly what I had been trying to figure out all of these years. I stopped pacing and looked at him. “Ok. Then if you are real and I have really been coming to Asgard all this time I want one thing. When I go back, as I’m 85% sure that I eventually will, I want you there, as you are, coming off the bifrost to get me. I don’t want you dressed as anyone else but you. That’s when I will stop believing all of this is just a dream.”

 

Loki came to me and put his arms around me. My arms wrapped around his waist, “I just don’t want the dream anymore, I would much prefer the reality. And if this is just a dream and you don’t come for me…” I didn’t know what. All I knew was that I had to know for sure and this short time with Loki made me want it all the more. I had never really wished, I mean REALLY wished that he were real. There had been moments in the past that I wished it, but not like this.

 

“If I have to, I will bring the whole of Asgard with me. I will not leave you there again. As soon as I am aware that you are gone I will come for you. I swear it on my life that I will.” He spoke in a soft tone, full of promise. He swore, which he never did, he didn’t like to make promises that he couldn’t keep. If this were real he would come for me. If it was not, again I didn’t know.

 

The next couple of days were pretty uneventful, at least for life on Asgard. Thor was happy to see me up and walking around, Fandral was too. Loki and I hadn’t seen Siff, Volsatgg or Hogan since the fight, and that was fine by us. I knew that Loki would still kill Siff on sight if she sought him or me out. We lazed around, not really doing anything in particular. We had picnics under the willow tree, went for walks in the forest surrounding the palace, and he flew me about the lake. The third day came with responsibilities.  

 

Loki and Thor were summoned by the Allfather to go over some important matters and I was left to my own devices. I wandered the palace for a while, not really having a direction in mind when I came to a familiar set of doors. Freya’s water garden was on the other side. I knocked and waited. No sound came so I started to go towards the library when the telltale sound of wood scraping against stone filled the hall. The doors were opening to reveal the same mist from before. I walked through with much more confidence than the first time. Freya was waiting on the other side for me.

 

I shook off the feeling of the mist and walked towards Freya’s open arms. “How are you faring Astrid?” I smiled as she led me to a stone bench that was on the edge of the large fountain. “I’m doing well actually. Just a little distracted I guess.” Freya looked at me, the same way Loki did when he wanted me to continue. I sighed, “Well I’ve been thinking about something that Heimdell said the other day. He said that I have Asgardian blood in my history. But he didn’t say how much and if that will change anything about me. I’ve been thinking about this in the chance that all of this is real.” Freya laughed and smiled. “I honestly have been wondering the same thing. We could have one of our physicians draw some blood and do, what do your people call it?” She put her finger to her chin and tapped it a few times, thinking. “Ah yes, an ancestry test. We will be able to see how much Asgardian blood you have.”

 

I looked down for a moment, “But I’m a little worried on what it will say.” Freya laughed even harder at that. “My little one, it wouldn't matter if there were royal blood in your veins, at least not where Loki was concerned. He’s adopted.” I looked up at her and the shock must have been apparent on my face. “He never told you? He found out a few years ago, it was a little rough for a few months, but I know your nightly visits helped him greatly.” I wondered why he hadn’t told me, but then again something like that is difficult to discuss, especially if you are upset about it.

 

“It would be interesting to find out whose family you hail from.” Freya added. It would be, and I did want to know. “Ok, let’s do it.” I stood and so did Freya. Together we walked the palace until we came to the doctors rooms. It didn’t take anytime at all and it was basically painless. I couldn’t help but think that human doctors could learn a thing or two from the Asgardians. We walked the rest of the afternoon until Loki came looking for us. His smile beamed at us as he walked towards us, noticing that we were walking with our arms linked.

 

“I hope you weren’t to bored today.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Not at all, your mother has been teaching me about the different flowers in the gardens. It's quite fascinating.” Freya smiled at us. “At that, I will take my leave. Oh and before I forget, I am planning a grand ball in a month to commemorate the arrival of Astrid. So she will need to see the seamstress post haste.” Loki bowed to his mother as she walked away. We continued walking through the gardens as the sun began to set. It was peaceful. It was perfect. So perfect in fact that that night I started having the strangest dreams.


	23. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay for those waiting for this chapter. We had that nasty cold tear through my house. It was oh so lovely. Hope you all enjoy!

I was back in the black space. The quiet was comforting and eerie at the same time. No crowds in the background, no beeps, no voices. I took this time to think, really think about my situation. Slowly I came to the realization that this had to be real. I reflected on everything since starting my adventures on Asgard. The bruises I would wake up with after a hard day of training with Loki. The fact that I could, in fact, speak Asgardian and it did sound slightly like the language spoken in Iceland and Greenland. It wasn’t exactly the same, but close. Like a different dialect. The fact that I remembered with great clarity everything that I had done while in Asgard. Those were the biggest tell tale signs that this might be real, and after 5 dark filled nights I started this journal. 

 

I wrote as Loki spent his days with Thor and the Allfather. I had told him to go about his days as he normally would, he convinced me to stay in the palace unless we were together. I agreed knowing that if I did suddenly wake up he would know quicker if I was supposed to be in the palace and not out walking in the forest. So I wrote. Somedays Loki would come back and invite me to the library with him. It was always fascinating to watch him try and figure something out. He would sit at a table and be surrounded in books. All things stopped existing. I would sit at the table as well, reading my own books until it was time to eat or sleep. He always reluctantly came away, but he always left the books where they were so he could come back to them the next day.

 

It was after those first 5 days in the darkness that the sounds started coming through the darkness. The slow, intermittent beep started off in the background, the same as the soft voices. It seemed distance and each night that went by they came closer and closer. At first I wasn’t able to make out any words, just the rise and fall of people speaking. Then slowly as the nights went by I started to recognize some of the voices. I could hear Jill reading me Frankenstein, one of my favorite stories. I could hear my Aunt Sophia talking to me about the plans she had for the new house she had bought. I remembered that she had purchased it right before CJ had attacked me. Construction was going to start the following week. Then I heard Jack, always saying the same thing. He would tell me how sorry he was, how he should have seen the signs in his own brother. I knew it wasn’t Jack’s fault and wanted so badly to tell him, but floating in an abyss made that a little difficult.

 

The strangest voices that I heard must have come from the medical staff. They would say that I was healing so much faster than I should have and the swelling in my brain looked as if it had never been there. I couldn’t help but wonder just how hard CJ had hit me. Even waking up in Asgard I was never aware of the extent of my injuries, I healed too fast. The beeping I figured out to be whatever machines I was hooked up to in my coma. I found that even though I could hear things, I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb while floating there, which I was thankful for.

 

I didn’t know about telling Loki about my dreams, but decided that I didn’t want to keep any secrets from him. He listened with his usual intensity, his green eyes seeming to get a little darker as I went on. “Your body is trying to wake up. That’s the most logical explanation. It seems as if when you dream you go somewhere between here and your body. The stronger you get, the closer you get to your body. Guess I’m just going to have to be prepared to come and get you sooner than I anticipated.” He smiled but looked down, he seemed sad. I went over and sat on his lap, pulling him to me, his arms going around me. We sat there while I stroked his hair and he listened to my heart while laying his head against my chest. Finally he looked up at me, “I know you will come for me. I doubted it for so long, but now I know you will.”

 

Freya came to get me the next day, the test results were back and I was about to find out what family I belonged to. Loki was busy with the Allfather but wished me luck. We still hadn’t talked about the fact he was adopted, but we had all the time in the world for that. I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous, I knew of all the royal families in Asgard from coming so often and only a handful I would want to be related to. What if I ended up being related to Loki’s ex wife, that could be awkward, to say the least. So there we sat in the Doctor's office, in high back comfortable leather chairs. The same type of chair that Loki dragged around with him while I was here recovering. I chuckled at that. Freya just looked at me with a questioning look on her face and I just shook my head. It was silly.

 

The Doctor sat down across from us with a rolled piece of parchment. “I do apologise for how long this took, but we performed the test a few times to be sure. It seems you have a good amount of Asgardian dna and you have a living cousin.” My nerves came back with avengence and I felt Freya place her hand on my shoulder in a soothing way. “Who is it?” The Doctor smiled, “Well I had to advise them of the link as well and they wanted it to be a surprise. So they made me swear to just tell you to meet them in the training arena. I think that you will be pleasantly surprised.”

 

The Doctor left. Freya and I looked at each other for a moment before we smiled and quickly got up. We walked as fast as was proper for the Queen and made our way to the training arena. We came around the corner and saw a familiar man leaning in the fencing. He looked over and held his arms out, “Cousin!” Fandral's smile was wide and I couldn’t help but laugh. I hugged him, then he bowed to Freya. “Your Majesty.” Freya nodded her head to him. The three of us spent the rest of the afternoon together, I learned so much about the family I never knew I had. I learned that Fandral didn’t speak to that family because they didn’t want to have anything to do with him once he became a soldier instead of a politician. So he was glad to have one family member who could care less about his chosen station in life. Loki seemed surprised by the lineage but was thankful it was him, he had always been kind to me and that was all that mattered to Loki.

 

That night the voices were even louder. It felt like they were in the darkness with me. I heard my Aunt say that she had finally gotten the paperwork signed to become my proxy and how she had petitioned for divorce against CJ in my stead. The trouble apparently was that he could not be found. He had disappeared. That sent a chill through me in the dark. He was still out there, which meant he had gotten away from Jack when he had almost killed me. To say that that was not a comfort was an understatement. What was a comfort was that CJ would never be able to get to Asgard, and if by some miracle he did, I didn’t think that it would go well for him.

 

The next morning went the same as always. Loki and I ate together in front of the fire, then he got ready to meet Thor for the daily meeting with their father. A knock came to the door while Loki was in the bathroom, opening it I saw the usual tiny servant bowing at the waist. “Good morning Seth, how are you today?” He looked up me, with his usual smile and blush at me using his name. “Very well My Lady. I have a message from Her Highness, she wishes that you join Prince Loki this morning in the throne room.” I looked down at him, probably with a look of shock on my face. “Thank you Seth.” That was all I could say. What else was there to say. I was summoned and in this world I had to go, but honestly I always wondered what happened. The little man bowed again and walked away down the hall. I closed the door as Loki walked out of the bathroom.

 

“So it looks like I’ll be joining you today.” Loki looked up, smiling. “I know, I heard. Better get ready, Thor will be sending lightening bolts down the hall in a few minutes if we aren’t waiting for him. Something, I might add, he lives for.” I dressed quickly in riding pants and long black suede riding jacket. I didn’t know if this was nice enough for the throne room, so I turned to ask Loki. He was smiling at me, then I realized that it didn’t matter. Even though I had grown up partially here, I was not from here. It didn’t matter what I wore. At least not to me or to him. He took my hand and we left the room, just in time to see Thor round the corner. Loki had just enough time to hide the door before he could see where Loki had moved it. 

 

Thor was smiling, as always, “Lady Astrid, I would have to say that you being here has made my brother much more punctual, but you have taken a little bit of fun out my life.” Thor bowed to me then slapped Loki on the shoulder. Loki shifted under the slap, moving his shoulder around as we started walking to the throne room. Thor’s voice echoed through the halls as he spoke. Everything that he said had absolutely nothing to do with nothing. I figured that he wasn’t a fan of silence. Loki’s cool hand stayed wrapped around mine as we walked. 

 

The large doors to the throne room were already opened, no invisible force opening them today. There was no crowd either, just a table in front of the thrones. Odin and Freya were already seated. Odin didn’t bother looking up, but when Freya did she smiled. Fandral was there too, reclining in one of the high backed wooden chairs. How he managed it I couldn’t say, because when I sat down I found that they were the most uncomfortable chairs ever, even more uncomfortable than Aunt Sophia’s dining room chairs. They at least had a bit of padding on the seats. Thankfully we weren’t sitting for long. Odin wanted the four of us to go to the out laying orchards and farms and check in with the families. Some of them hadn’t been to market lately and he wanted to make sure that everything was all right. I had to admit that even though Odin was a right bastard, he did care for his people.

 

Once at the stable I learned I would be using Odin’s horse, the one I had ridden several times. When I walked up to his stall I was surprised that the large horse nuzzled up to me. “He remembers you,” Loki commented. I gently rubbed his neck as he was saddled. I barely noticed anymore the animals eight legs as the gently pawed the ground, he wanted to run. His stall door was opened when the straps were handed to me and I slowly walked out of the stable and into the sunlight. Slepnir rose his head, as if enjoying the heat on his face. One last pat and I mounted him as I was joined by Loki, Thor, and Fandral. 

 

It was a lovely morning. The market was bustling and the roads outside of the castle were clear. Once on the outskirts of the city we could see the lake and the edge of Asgard running off into space. The bifrost was a stark contrast to the midnight sky in the distance. The sun hitting off the rainbow crystals. At least I assumed that it was made of crystal, it seemed solid enough. We made our way through the farms and spoke with each farmer. The wives all happy to have a visit from the royal family. We were invited in and shown the process of each farm. I found it fascinating. 

 

I enjoyed the orchard the most. We were shown where the apples were processed and sorted, some going to make cider and the others off to market to be sold. The wife pulled me aside and gave me a small bag of apples. “For the horses.” She had said. I smiled at her and we went on our way. We decided then would be a good time to stop and have lunch. We rested in a pasture so the horses could walk around. I could hear the falls going out into nothing. It was peaceful. While we ate Thor decided that it was a good idea to regale me with some stories of his and Loki’s youth. He spoke animatedly and Loki kept saying things like, “That is not how it happened,” or, “You just aren’t remembering it properly because of that inflated ego of yours.” Fandral and I just sat back laughing. It was nice to see them away from the confines of the palace, away from their responsibilities, even for just a little while.

 

Then came the time for us to leave. The sun was high in the sky as I mounted Slepnir, making the water glisten like tiny jewels.  We slowly started making our way back to the road when the back of my head started to buzz. Suddenly Slepnir reared back, his front legs slicing through the air. Loki came closer and tried to calm him, but the horse kept moving away from him. The buzzing got more intense inside my head, I closed my eyes trying to make it stop. That was when I heard it, a whisper on the wind. “There you are sweetheart. You thought you could get away from me.” Slepnir reared back again, sending me falling to the ground. They dismounted, Thor and Fandral went to Slepnir to try and calm him. Loki knelt next to me, a concerned look on his face. I must have looked terrified as I sat in the field clutching the back of my head. Tears were forming as the buzzing became a roar that rattled around in my skull.

 

I looked up at Loki. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I was unable to speak for a moment. “I’m waking up. Come find me, as fast as you can. He’s back.” Loki went to speak but I saw his hands go through my arm where he had been touching me. All sound stopped, then I felt myself wake up.     


	24. Running From A Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long for an update. Life can just get so hectic sometimes. Thank you all for your patience.

Slowly opening my eyes I was assaulted by a bright light. I turned my head away, feeling my muscles strain a little against the movement. My hand coming up to shield me from the light. That was when I heard it, a shuffling sound to my left. I turned towards the sound and heard a door latch closed. I squinted, my eyes having a hard time focusing. I opened them as wide as I could, forcing them to get used to the blinding white light. Someone was standing by the wall, their dark shirt a soothing spot. “Did you miss me?” The voice sent a chill down my body. CJ had closed us in together. My heart beat sped up, I kept my breathing as even as my panic stricken body would allow. I shifted, trying to sit up. Quickly, as always, CJ was across the room with his hand flat against my chest, holding me down. “You seriously think that I’m going to let you get away twice?” I couldn’t answer and I couldn’t scream, the tube down my throat was making that an impossibility. I felt the bed dip down where he sat, his hand still on my chest. I could smell the whiskey on his breath as he leaned towards me. “Just remember you brought this on yourself.”

 

He grabbed the tube and all but ripped it out of my throat, scraping the flesh before it was discarded onto the floor. Not knowing what to do I started pushing against him, trying to get him away from me. That was when I looked in his face. He was utterly calm, he was completely devoid of any emotion. He seemed empty. That was when he shifted and he hands went around my throat. He slowly started squeezing, and that was when his face became distorted. It wasn’t in rage, he was enjoying this. He was getting a sick satisfaction out of killing me. I decided then I couldn’t let him ever win again. I had too much to live for now.

 

It became harder to breath and then I wasn’t able to get any air. His hands were like a vice around my throat, not budging, no matter how much I clawed at his hands. My vision began to blur at the edges, black filtered in. My legs kicked against the bed, I was trying everything I could to dislodge his hands. My body seemed to take on a life of its own as I fought. Then I pulled my arm back and jabbed my finger as hard as I could into his eye. He shouted in pain and released my neck. I gasped as I took down the railing on the other side of the bed and rolled away. I hit the floor hard. The catheter caught on the railing and pulled out. My muscles screamed and I fought rolling into a ball. 

 

As fast as I could I used the bed to stand. My legs were surprisingly strong. It didn’t feel as if I had been laying on my back for roughly three weeks. I didn’t have time to make sure everything worked properly, CJ had stopped yelling and was turning back towards the bed. I ran towards the door, my eyes only on the door. Then I felt something hit my side, making my stumble to the side. A loud metal clang filled the room. I saw a bed pan on the floor and heard CJ’s boots on the tiles. I pushed off of the wall and basically launched myself at the door. Suddenly I heard the sound of rubber slipping on tile and heard a thud. I glanced back to see CJ on the floor having slipped on the the urine that had spilled on the floor.

 

Unfortunately he was close enough to get a hold of my ankle and tried to pull me to the floor. I held onto a small table to keep upright, I was starting to lose when I looked down at the bedpan. I picked it up and brought it down on his face as hard as I could. It didn’t do much, but he let go. I got to the door and flung it open, moving out into the hall. The hall was busy with nurses and doctors, but I didn’t see a single security guard around. Not wanting to stay in a single spot for too long I ran down the hall. My legs were a little wobbly, but working remarkably well. I saw a sign showing the stairs high up on the wall. I didn’t want to get stuck in a stairwell with him so I looked for the elevator. 

 

I heard a slam from behind me, I knew without looking that CJ had burst through the door to my room. Then I heard him quickly coming towards me. I finally made it to the elevator as it was about to close, I thrust my arm in, making the doors open again. Thankfully there were 2 doctors in the elevator as well, I stepped in and pushed the door button to close them. I looked up just in time to see CJ’s face as the doors closed. He would get to the stairs quickly enough. I just had to stay safe until Loki got there, that was my only thought. 

 

At the next floor one of the doctors got off and I saw CJ standing off to the side. He was patiently waiting for me to be alone. Whatever floor came next, if the doc got off, so was I. I had no desire to be stuck in a metal tube with my homicidal husband. My breathing had slowed down as I noticed that we passed the next floor. That could buy me a little bit of time. CJ would have stopped at the next floor to see if the doc left. We were coming to the first floor, no other place for me to go. I said a silent prayer to whoever was listening that the exit was near, I would just run right out and keep running. Heimdell would make sure Loki got to me.

 

The elevator slowed and I stood in front of the doors, ready to run as soon as they opened. The ding made my heart pound in my chest. The doors slowly opened and as soon as I had enough space I bolted. I looked behind me to see CJ round a corner and start sprinting towards me. He was much faster than me in my weakened state, he was closing in. I looked ahead and say the main doors, an orderly was bringing someone in with a wheelchair. As soon as the wheelchair was inside I saw the most beautiful sight in all the realms. The bifrost shot down from the sky and I could make out three shapes in the middle. I stopped a few feet from the doors and the bifrost lifted and there stood Loki, Thor, and Fandrall.

 

Loki came forward and pulled me into a fierce hug and I heard the sound of someone skidding to a stop. Gently Loki turned me around and gave me over to Fandrall who smiled down at me, “If you wanted to pass out cousin it would be completely understandable.” They were real, they weren’t dreams. And in that moment I took his advice and allowed myself to black out.

 

I came awake momentarily to being cradled in Fandrall’s arms. I saw a flash of green and I turned my head just in time to see Loki, while walking towards us, snap his fingers and then see CJ’s head snap backwards on his body, his body crumbling unnaturally to the floor. I blacked out again.

 

It was night time when I awoke again. This time the familiar ceiling of Asgards physicians rooms was above me. I felt something cool on my hand and looked down. Loki’s head was resting on the mattress, his eyes closed in sleep, and he was holding my hand. I looked around and saw Thor standing at the door, leaning on the doorframe. Fandrall was sitting against a wall, his blonde head hanging forward in sleep. Freya sat in a chair at the foot of my bed, reading what I thought must have been my chart. I remembered the last thing I saw before we came here, CJ’s death. I’ll admit that it had been a very overwhelming day and I cried. They just started coming and I didn’t think that they would ever stop.

 

Freya saw this and came to the side of my bed, sitting on the edge. Without thought she wrapped me in a comforting hug, a hug that only someone who has been a mother could give. “It’s alright, you are safe now. That man will never harm you again. It’s over.” She calmly rubbed my back as I noticed a stirring in the room. Looking up I saw Thor and Fandrall standing at the foot of my bed and Loki sitting next to me, awake. He gently squeezed my hand then brought it up to his lips. 

 

Soon I did calm down and as I wiped the tears from my face I asked what had happened. Thor and Fandrall started talking before Loki had a chance to and he just rolled his eyes. Apparently after Loki was told his true parentage Odin had allowed him to keep the cask that the Juton’s used to build their cities. He thought it would bring him closer to understanding that part of himself. He kept it in a magical pocket that shrunk anything that was put in it. CJ had thought it a good idea to rush them after I passed out and Loki had frozen him to the floor. Loki had tried to talk sense into him, they swore, but he wouldn’t let up. He kept saying that no matter where I went he would find me. So Loki took care of it.

 

The whole time the story was being told Loki kept my hand on his forehead. He knew how I felt about outright violence, but in my eyes he was just protecting me. Freya spoke up finally, “In my opinion it was too good for him. I had planned on doing so much worse. We do not take kindly to one’s such as he.” Loki looked up at me as I ran my hand through his hair. I smiled at him. “Thank you.” He let out the breath he must have been holding and kissed the palm of my hand.

 

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway, we turned to see Heimdell smiling at us. “I have to admit you are a very strong Midgardian. Not most would have been able to do the things that you did this day. But I bring good news. Prince Loki’s actions had no negative repercussions. Those who were witness to everything do not believe their eyes, and conveniently a gas leak was found in that section of the hospital. His death was ruled an accident as he slipped in a puddle of water that just happened to be in the middle of the hall. The hospital has settled with your friends for his death and that is that. I also took the liberty to speak with them and advise them that you are well and as soon as you are able to you will visit.”

 

I was relieved that Loki was off the hook and I was surprised that I felt absolutely nothing about CJ’s death. I knew that Jack would miss him, but he had been worried about what CJ would do to me if I had stayed. But now I just had to focus on getting better, and with Loki by my side it would be the easiest thing I had ever done.


End file.
